[at-l] The SUV thing and some other Off Topic Bull

[jim.stewart@xxxxxxx (Jim Stewart)]

Whoooooaaaahhhhh!  Sha-freakin'-zam, Girl, you go!  This rocks!  Ya
gotta feel better after getting this off yer chest!

-----Original Message-----
From: at-l-admin@mailman.backcountry.net
[mailto:at-l-admin@mailman.backcountry.net] On Behalf Of
KellyGoVols@aol.com
Sent: Tuesday, January 07, 2003 9:02 PM
To: at-l@mailman.backcountry.net
Subject: [at-l] The SUV thing and some other Off Topic Bull


--
[ Picked text/plain from multipart/alternative ]
Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but for me, there is no more
reassuring proof that America has not fundamentally changed since
September 11th than the stirring sight of a shiny-suited executive
simultaneously screaming into his cell phone, flipping me off, and
screeching through an 80-mile-per-hour left turn through a red light in
his black, sperm-whale-sized S.U.V. sporting two tiny American flags. It
all makes me wonder.... Was the "we have changed" mood of the country
after September 11th more a figment of our imagination than John Nash's
friends at high tea? Immediately following September 11th everyone
entered a sort of undeniable and palpable state of shock. Daily life was
suddenly and utterly disrupted, priorities shifted drastically,
convenience evaporated, security tightened, "Access Hollywood" began
playing the serious music. Many of you tried to find safety and refuge
in your homes, seeking the solace and security of being among family and
friends, while others of you were simply too afraid or depressed to go
anywhere outside or you just stopped watching television. And what you
saw on the television caused you to be completely enraged and horrified
by humanity. You became tri-multaneously terrified, racked with guilt,
and suspicious of everything and everyone. In other words, you became
me. I remember my reaction after September 11th. I immediately began
viewing my fellow citizens as though they were cherished family members,
unless of course I didn't trust their looks. And by the way, if anybody
who resembles that goofy a$$hole with the shoe bomb ever sits down next
to me on a plane, I'm gonna call the stewardess over and say, "Hey,
unless this jagoff is the harmonica player for the J. Geils Band, get
him off the f-king plane."  I never enjoyed air flight, but now I don't
board a plane without taking a moment to shoot myself in the thigh with
a tranquilizer dart. As a matter of fact, I don't get on until my blood
is coursing with enough thorazine to drop an epileptic rhino. Let's see
What else has has changed? Certainly Afghanistan has. Now that the
Taliban has become the Right Said Fred of governing bodies, Afghanistan
actually has a ministry of women's affairs, headed by a woman. Christ,
America doesn't have a ministry of women's affairs, unless you count the
delightfully sassy women of The View. They always tell it like it is.
You go, girls! You have to admit phone sex has gotten a lot hotter in
recent months. There's just something spicy about knowing that John
Ashcroft might be listening in. As for what many are calling racial
profiling in the aftermath of September 11th, well, get ready to be
pissed off, you ACLU-F-ing-Morons, we're dealing with a massive threat
and limited manpower, so, you want them to check everybody out equally?
Sure, fine okay, but let's at least compromise and put the Swedish dwarf
a little further down the list than the Iraqi explosives expert carrying
a Belgian passport with more eraser marks on it than Kid Rock's trig
final. Hey, by the way, to the parents of John Walker Lindh . When your
kid comes home with the Giovanni Ribisi facial hair, sporting a desert
beanie and referring to the Mrs. as an "Unclean Whore," it might be time
to step up with a little tough love. What else has happened since 9/11?
Well, we've changed the way we look at our public officials, Cheney is
no longer a heart attack joke, but a cagey domestic leader who sidesteps
the limelight so that the country can focus on the man at the top:
Donald Rumsfeld. Just kidding, Georgie. You da man. Americans now place
so much trust in George W. Bush, think so highly of his skills, respect
him on such a deep level as a leader, that you'd think he had broken his
marriage vows with a 21-year-old intern. As the president said in his
speech five months after 9/11, the war against terror is just beginning,
and our success will depend in part on our attitude towards it. We need
to re-evaluate who our friends really are. All 19 hijackers were from
the Middle East, and yet many of our so-called allies from that part of
the world claim to feel our pain with all the fake sincerity and false
bewilderment of Winona Ryder looking for her sales receipt. On the
whole, the tragedy hasn't transformed America so much as we've
Americanized it. The real tactical mistake the terrorists made in trying
to disrupt our society was that, in attacking us in such a monstrous
public way, they brought us together. And if there's one thing we
Americans have learned from decades of public beaches, traffic jams, and
crowded shopping malls after Thanksgiving, it's that we hate being
together. And that's why were gonna fight like hell to restore our
God-given right to get the f*** out of each other's faces.

Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

KellyGoOhio? (trying out new names, here.)

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