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Re: [at-l] Philosophical

Hi 

 Perhaps I could give another perspective?   I'm the one who has been left
at home for seven months while Klipspringer does his thruhike.   What made
it harder was the fact that both our kids also went overseas, so I've been
truly alone.

Hard?   Yes, particularly when things have gone wrong and I've had to cope
with things that the "man of the house" would normally deal with - like
fixing pool pumps, septic tanks and the like!  Also, being so far away in
Cape Town has probably caused more neuroticism about injuries or being lost
etc and this is where subscribing to the AT-list has helped tremendously.
From it, I've gained a greater understanding of what it's all about and
what it's like to attempt and do.

But when one looks around and sees friends and acquaintances falling ill or
worse, the philosophy must be along the lines of "do it today, because
tomorrow may never come."    So when Klipspringer decided he wanted to do
the hike, I gave and am still giving my full support.     He is retired,
which makes it easier as no career future is being harmed.

>Relationships are more complicated.>

I've seen a huge change in Klipspringer over the months and believe he will
return home a better person for the hike.    Whether it will last or not,
no one can tell, but this is a once-in-a lifetime-experience for him and I
believe our relationship has not been harmed at all - in fact, we seem to
be communicating much better.   Frequent calls home have made a huge
difference.   I have a full AT map on the wall and whenever he calls I can
look up and see where he is.    Communication is vital.

>A thruhike would certainly change your life post-hike, but whether it would
>be damaging or not might depend a great deal on your point of view. 

Each of us will have to adjust to his being back home and this could cause
problems.   I have become accustomed to being independent and having
responsibilities only to myself while Klipspringer has similarly not had to
concern himself about domestic issues and no doubt this transition will
take a while, but I'm very optimistic that in the end, we'll appreciate the
other more.   Sometime an absence can enhance relationships...

If our kids had been younger, I doubt I would have been so accepting about
his being gone for seven months - out of the country.   If you're married
and on a career path, it could be selfish of you to jeopardise your family
security and well-being, so I suppose all these things have to be weighed
up before the decision is taken.

Each person or family - relationships, responsibilities - will be different
and one should probably weigh these all up and decide whether one (or the
spouse or family) is/are in a position - emotionally and/or financially to
handle the rigours of a long absence from home.

Don't know if this has been any help, but...

Cheers - and good luck with your decision-making!
Pat
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