[at-l] Self Doubt (How to help a Newbie: Update 4 - Part II)

[rafe.bustin@verizon.net (rafe.bustin@verizon.net)]

On 11 Apr 2002 at 22:01, Jim and/or Ginny Owen wrote:

> 
> 	To a larger degree than almost any other activity in life, thruhiking is - 
> freedom.  A thruhiker has the freedom to set their own pace/schedule, to 
> stop for a day (or a week), to do 10 mile days (or 30's), to be a "purist" - 
> or not, to make their own decisions --- and to live with the consequences of 
> those decisions, to laugh, to cry, to be human - or to change any or all of 
> their previous decisions.  As Americans, many (most?) of us think we're 
> "free".  But one of the biggest factors in incomplete thruhikes is that many 
> people discover for the first time what "real" freedom is - and many of them 
> can't handle it - so they go home.  Some actually finish the trail - and 
> still don't understand.  And some (a few) learn about freedom and how to 
> live with it - and how to live it. And how to allow others the freedom to 
> learn and grow and live.



At the risk of offending a few, I need to take exception with 
some of the above.  Potential/future/wannabe thru hikers: 
read this (or ignore it) at your own peril.  You have been warned.

In some regards, a thru hike (particularly on the well-marked 
AT) is a willful abrogation of freedom.  Perhaps a wee bit 
less so on the PCT and CDT, where there's a bit more 
"hiker discretion" on the actual footpath.

While others may wallow in the pleasures of civilization, the 
thru-hiker, like a monk, disavows such pleasures for an 
incredibly ambitious, far away goal.

Oh, there are some small choices to be made along the 
way -- which town(s) to stop at, whether to lay over or walk 
in the rain/snow, how many miles to walk on any given day.  
But for the most part, the thru hiker is incredibly constrained.  
There are 2160 miles to hike, and only so many months to 
do it in.  And there really is only one path.  The math is 
simple: X miles per day, on average, or the task simply 
will not be completed.

Brave souls may taste freedom in blue-blazes, but will 
likely meet some hostility and cold shoulders for doing so.
The exercise of freedom has a price, it seems.

In a perverse way, I rediscovered freedom the day I finally 
quit my hike.  Because that was the day vowed that the 
Trail didn't own me, that I was free to get on with my life, 
and I could stop berating myself for failing at the task I'd 
set myself up to.

It was critical to leave the Trail when I did, because I 
truly love hiking, and still do, and I didn't want to lose 
that.  I'll finish the trail some day, though not as a thru-
hiker.  I can live with that.

Anyway, I kinda chafe at the association of thru-hiking 
with "freedom."  I see it as quite the opposite: it's the 
abrogation of freedom, for a goal.  No value judgment.
That's just the way I see it.


rafe b.
aka terrapin