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[at-l] HAA list AKA hikers anon
- Subject: [at-l] HAA list AKA hikers anon
- From: "Paul Miller" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
- Date: Sat, 5 Dec 1998 04:35:58 -0500
This is the list as i have as of now.. if anyone has more to add please send
me a private email with the title HAA and i will add it(you can also send it
to the main list too i dont care). this stops me from routing through mail
to find it all it will be all sorted for me. know i lost a few so if you
would like to add them to this listing please resend them to me via private
ps i have 42 to date and i know there was more than 50
****** L I S T B E G I N ********
Hikers Anonymous Association. Symptoms of those who should join.
1) A new hiking store opens and you have to go see what they have, even
though you have 3 sets of every piece of camping equipment ever sold.
2) A hiking or camping brochure arrives at work in the mail, and nothing
seems to get done all morning until you've read it 3 times and highlighted
new gizmos which youre sure you dont have.
3) when you walk into a hiking or camping store your teen age son or
daughter demands to hold onto your wallet and credit card until you are
safely out of the store and on the way home.
4) Your kitchen has salamis drying all year hanging from the ceiling just in
case you get an opportunity to catch a quick 2-3 day hike and need ready
access to dried meat.
5) your closets and freezer are full of dehydrated food
6) you eat your cereal at home with powdered milk
7) You rush home every nite from work to read ATML or ATL or PCTL
8) You see, and confront, and FAIL to resolve the contradictory urges to
acquire new gadgets and gear yet keep them out of your pack to keep from
exceeding X% of your body weight. (SaraSW VCAT)
9) Pack manufacturers got "Caller I.D." just so they could know you were
calling, and ignore you.
10) While on the trail, even in conversation with other people, you refer
to youself int he third person
11) While in a highrise building's staircase, you can't climb up without
wondering and comparing what it would look like if the staircase were
unfolded and stretched along some ridge somewhere.
12) If rainy mornings leave you fearful of being wet and cold all day, even
though your home or workplace is in a walled structure.
13) If, once wetted by rain in a non-hiking environment, your first thought
is to reach for a comforting handful of gorp.
14) If extreme weather conditions of any sort instill curiousity about the
current conditions on top of Mt _______.
15) If word association tests of the phrase "2 miles" prompt the answer "1
16) If you screen someone's personal attractiveness based on your estimate
of how they'd look in a leanto in the morning.
17) If you refer to even a single piece of hiking gear with a proper name,
such as "Betsy," "Maybell," "Mack," or "Bill."
18) If you have ever gone to a cocktail party and used the phrase "Yeah, but
what's your trailname?"
19) If you remain incredulous that EVERYONE is not a member of The Clean
20) If you consider a hot shower to be a quasi-religious activity.
21) When it rains, even though you are at work, you want to drive home,
immediately put on your gore tex jacket and see if it really will keep you
dry in a pouring downpore that goes on for 5 hours.
22) same with your new tent
23) you have an entire wardrobe of nylon shirts and pants, even though
you only take 1 with you when you hike
24) you have more backpacks than underwear
25) you weat thurlo socks to the office
26) If the walls of your cubical are totally obscured with hiking pictures,
articles about hiking, maps, etc.
27) If you know the distances between shelters, road crossings etc on "you"
section of the Trail.
28) If you refer to a trail location as "my section," or my "overlook," or
"my campsite," etc.
29)When you are eating with friends (non hikers) and suddenly all is silent
except for the noise that you are making as you scrape every fragment of
barley from the soup bowl....and everyone is staring at you. And you are
reeeeaaly glad you came to your senses before you start to lick the bowl.
30) You are prone to storing your spoon in your mouth between courses.
31) You repeatedly drive off the side of the road because you are looking at
the ridges and thinking 'what a hell of a climb that gap would be'
32) You return from the grocery store all aglow because you found a new line
of 'meals in a bag'.
33) You fondle gear....even if it isn't yours.
34) You smile and let out a great big sigh when you read this list!!
35) You commonly say "hiking" to mean backpacking, when everyone else means
36) When asked how long the hike was you reply with the number of weeks or
37) You DRIVE into a strange town and wonder where to pick up your mail
38) you start to recognize faces along the trail because you've passed/met
these other nuts before......
39) something When you can't get away you really want to knock out the
outside bedroom wall or just set the tent up in the back yard!
40) When looking at a gear catalogue, before looking at the price, you check
out the weight. If it's not listed, you move on to something else, no matter
how interesting it sounds.
41) You think "being off medication" means not taking vitamin I.
42> You know you're addicted (or perhaps hopelessly beat up) when you leave
your Lekis by the staircase!
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