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[at-l] Re: long answer to long question
I'll join the chorus of those saying that you should go, if at all
possible. Life is short. There may never be a more convenient time. If
you wait until your daughter is out of high school, or out of college - - -
That future doesn't exist - the only time that is real is now. You have the
will and the ability to do a thuhike now - 5 or 10 years from now, who knows?
Thruhiking is an inherently selfish act in any case. If we weren't
selfish, we would stay home, be good citizens, support our family and our
community. Instead we go out in the woods to live a life with no
responsibility for six months. Every year hundreds of husbands leave their
wives, wives leave their husbands, parents leave their children and
children leave their parents to hike the Trail. We do it because it fills a
need within us that nothing else can satisfy - maybe a need for adventure,
or to find ourselves, to find God, to live our lives fully, to reconnect
with the natural world, to prove something to ourselves, to challenge
ourselves, to be part of the long distance hiker community, whatever.
You are lucky to have a family that can provide loving support for you
daughter and your hike. They may not understand why you have to do what
you have to do, but they are willing to give you the chance. Marti
("Gypsy") did the same thing last year - her ex took care of her son while
she hiked. Many of those who accuse you of selfishness do not understand
what a thruhike means - most of those who have not thruhiked won't
understand, ever. Don't worry about it - do what you need to do.
You have this all tied up with your love of your mother and desire to
reconnect with her. I understand that - my mom has had cancer surgery
three times over the past 25 years, and I lost my stepmother last year to
cancer. (She was very supportive of our desire to do another thruhike. My
dad feels that it is a bit irresponsible, and we should be worrying about
careers and saving for retirement and all that garbage - but Kathleen knew
that life is too short to put your dreams on hold.)
Anyhow, what worries me is this - it is a long way from a first hike to a
thruhike. There are a lot of dayhikers who never backpack, many
backpackers who never thruhike. Your mom has gone on her first day hike -
that is terrific, but it is a long way from that to being able to spend six
months in the woods. What happens if, six months down the road, she
decides that she likes being in the woods, but doesn't like hiking in the
rain or heat or snow and doesn't want to go - will you give up your
thruhike? What happens if she doesn't like sleeping on the ground or in
the shelters with the mice? If you've read the journals and talked to
thruhikers, you know how hard a thruhike is, mentally, emotionally and
physically. You have to want it with all your heart, or you won't make it
to Katahdin. What happens if she hikes as far as Damascus and decides she
has had enough - will you go home too? If the thruhike is not an
overwhelming passion for you, it is really easy to get discouraged by bad
weather or injury or too many steep climbs and decide to go home or to play
hopscotch all over the place, giving up the thruhike. And if it is
something you HAVE to do - can you give it up if she does?
I know, your Mom beat cancer - so she may well be willing and able to do a
thruhike. But you have to consider, what if she can't? Or vice versa -
will she go without you if you decide that something else is more important
to you than hiking to Katahdin? Once the seed is planted, it is very hard
to get rid of the dream.
In any case, you get the fun for the next two years of getting ready -
getting gear together, getting in shape, talking trail, meeting other
hikers, etc. Whether you ever thruhike together or not. It is a good bond.
I envy you for this chance. My mom is 3000 miles away - and would never
have considered a thruhike. We did a 5 week trip to England together
several years ago though - and the months getting ready and then actually
wandering around were absolutely fantastic. This is a special time - a
second chance in a way - enjoy it.
For a thruhike, it really helps to have someone to talk to who understands
the Trail. I have been doing all the early planning for our CDT thruhike
next year - Jim has been too busy with school and work - but he always
listens to my thoughts, comments, questions and concerns. It makes the
wait bearable (barely).
I don't mean to sound negative - I really hope that the two of you can do
your thruhike together. But it isn't easy - it isn't just "a walk in the
woods." Hiking all day every day in all kinds of weather - it isn't for
everyone. You have the time to get ready and to find out if it is really
what you both want to do. I suggest your mom get out every chance she
gets - the more familiar she is with the lifestyle, and the better shape
she is in, the easier it will be for her. While some people can do a
thruhike with no prior experience - there is a reason that 50% drop out
before Damascus - largely that reality is so much harder than expected.
And a lot of people start their hikes, and discover after they have given
up their homes, their jobs, and a lot of money, that they really don't like
to walk, or they don't like to sleep out, or they can't tolerate continuous
rain. Better to find out beforehand. You have the time - you're lucky.
Sorry to go on so long.
Ginny
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