[at-l] Letter from 96 year old woman...OT

[athummingbird at dnet.net (Linda Benschop)]

Thanks, Jim.  I could really identify with it as I read it after trying 
to contact a creditor.  I went through so many "layers" and finally gave 
up and decided to write a letter.  I am not familiar with Snopes but 
will have to check it out.

Hugs, Hummingbird

Jim Smith wrote:

>According to Snopes.com
>(http://www.snopes.com/business/bank/takethat.asp):
>
>"It was penned by Peter Wear, a columnist for the Courier Mail in
>Brisbane, Australia, for that publication's "Perspectives" column. The
>letter was not actually sent to a bank; it was a humor piece from start
>to finish, albeit one inspired by the author's having had one of his
>checks bounce. Though the item did appear in an actual newspaper, it was
>not, however, (as claimed in the Internet-circulated version's prologue)
>published in The New York Times." 
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: at-l-bounces@backcountry.net [mailto:at-l-bounces@backcountry.net]
>On Behalf Of Linda Benschop
>Sent: Saturday, January 21, 2006 6:46 PM
>To: Mara Factor
>Cc: at-l@backcountry.net
>Subject: [at-l] Letter from 96 year old woman...OT
>
>
>
>Subject: Bank Letter ( priceless)
>
> 
>
>   Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by a 96 
>
>year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it
>published in the New York Times.  
>
> 
>
>*         Dear Sir:
>
>*          
>
>*     I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I
>endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three
>nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the
>
> check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I
>
> refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire
>salary,an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight
>years. 
>
> 
>
>You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity,
>and also for debiting my account $30 by way of a penalty for the
>inconvenience caused to your bank.
>
> 
>
>*My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident
>
> has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that 
>
>whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I
>try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging,
>pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. 
>
> 
>
>>From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood 
>  
>
>>person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no
>>    
>>
>
>  
>
>>longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed 
>>personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must
>>    
>>
>
>  
>
>>nominate.  Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any 
>>other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an 
>>Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee
>>    
>>
>
> to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I 
>
>know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no 
>
>alternative.
>
> 
>
> Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be
>
> countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her
>
> financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be
>
> accompanied by documented proof. In due course, I will issue your
>employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.
>I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have
>modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my
>account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is
>the sincerest form of flattery. 
>
> 
>
>*Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press
>buttons as follows:   1. To make an appointment to see me 2. To query
>
> a missing payment. 3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I
>am there. 4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
>5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
>6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home 7. To
>leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is
>required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to the
>Authorized Contact. 8. To return to the main menu and to listen to
>options 1 through 7. 9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. 
>
> 
>
> The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my
>automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a
>lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.
>Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an
>establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I
>wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?   
>
> 
>
>Your Humble Client  (Remember: This was written by a 96 year old
>
> woman)
>
>    JUST GOTTA LOVE US SENIORS
>
>
>  
>
>>
>>    
>>
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