Thruhike "Enjoyment", was Re: [at-l] New AT speed record... today?!

[janl2 at mindspring.com (Jan Leitschuh)]

> A thru-hike is damn tough...it's more of an
> education than recreation (from my experience, and others may be
> different). I learned a lot, grew a lot, came out stronger than I went
> in. Did I enjoy it all? No. But I am so glad I went, and its
> ramifications will reverberate in my personal journey until I die.


Reading this, I had to ask myself - did I enjoy my '03 hike?
Oh yes! yes, yes. Yes.

Now... Did I enjoy every moment? Ah, a good question. And an honest 
examination reveals an unexpected, non-politically correct answer: 
yes. Yes, I did.

You know, it's a weird thing. Because I can read my journal (thank 
god! I think, thank god! that I wrote stuff down, because the memory 
fails daily, and sometimes it takes a little verbal jog to reawaken 
the wonder - and the names and details! ;-0 ), and I can see a fair 
amount of bitching and whining. My bitching. Sometimes it was a very 
sincere fury, such as when I discovered I'd left my raincoat back at 
Mt. Washington, and had to run back up the rocks to retrieve it.

All emotion was heartfelt, and at the same time, it was as if a 
"character" was bitching, whining and raging. There was a full 
experience and at the same time, a detachment. In other words, while 
these experiences were genuine and real, they didn't overwhelm that 
core "thing" that kept me out on the trail. A detached part of me 
observed (intuited, not verbalized) "ah yes, this is part of it too..."

It was somehow all okay.

I look back on all the roughness - sodden, rancid, smelly shoes, the 
aches and hip/foot pain, Maine's ball-bat shelter floors, lack of TP 
at highly inconvenient locations, daily pack-shouldering reluctance, 
the cold/heat/dry/wind/humid times, and there is an inordinate 
fondness - as a mother for her children.

The romance of hindsight? Perhaps. But the truth is, none of these 
obstacles or discomforts ever really affected the core desire to be 
walking to Maine.

It's all much like the last tagline of the Kevin Spacey film "American 
Beauty", and I'll paraphrase because I don't have the exact quote:
"...and I'm filled with love and gratitude for every miserable moment 
of my miserable little life.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't worry... you will!"

What a privilege it was to take that journey! My god! How lucky am I 
to have drawn that lot in life. Yes, yes.

I still don't know why I did it, hiked the entire Appalachian trail 
from Georgia to Maine.
I couldn't not, is all I know.

Seriously Nostalgic Shoe

PS Two years ago today (two years ago!? sob!) I was walking into New 
Hampshire, on one of the wonderful, equally-enjoyable, 
less-than-wilderness sections - it was all good!:

"Without hiking sticks or sandwich, without so much as a water bottle, 
equipped with only a Visa card, we set forth northbound on this very 
harrowing stretch of the Appalachian Trail.
Yes, our feet touch only pavement, and the cars whiz by at 
life-threatening speeds for the next 1.5 miles into Dartmouth, 
Hannover, NH. We pressed gamely on despite great personal danger, and 
were lucky to escape with our lives."

You all have a great day, and - what the heck! - be kind to each other.
What can it hurt, eh?
-- 
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     	AT Journal:
	http://www.trailjournals.com/Liteshoe/
	Jan Leitschuh Sporthorses Ltd.
	http://www.mindspring.com/~janl2/index.html

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