[at-l] Clothing "You know you're a hiker if....."

[Nightwalker_AT at charter.net (Nightwalker)]

That's the one!

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "David Hicks" <daveh@psknet.com>
To: <at-l@backcountry.net>
Sent: Friday, February 18, 2005 12:53 PM
Subject: Re: [at-l] Clothing "You know you're a hiker if....."


> Is the Hikers Anonymous Association Symptoms what you had in mind?
>
> >>
> Hikers Anonymous Association
>
> Symptoms of those who should join:
>
> 1) A new hiking store opens and you have to go see what they have, even
> though you have 3 sets of every piece of camping equipment ever sold.
>
> 2) A hiking or camping brochure arrives at work in the mail, and nothing
> seems to get done all morning until you've read it 3 times and
> highlighted new gizmos which you're sure you don't have.
>
> 3) when you walk into a hiking or camping store your teen age son or
> daughter demands to hold onto your wallet and credit card until you are
> safely out of the store and on the way home.
>
> 4) Your kitchen has salamis drying all year hanging from the ceiling
> just in case you get an opportunity to catch a quick 2-3 day hike and
> need ready access to dried meat.
>
> 5) your closets and freezer are full of dehydrated food
>
> 6) you eat your cereal at home with powdered milk
>
> 7) You rush home every nite from work to read ATML or ATL or PCTL
>
> 8) You see, and confront, and FAIL to resolve the contradictory urges
> to acquire new gadgets and gear yet keep them out of your pack to
> keep from exceeding X% of your body weight. (SaraSW VCAT)
>
> 9) Pack manufacturers got "Caller I.D." just so they could know you
> were calling, and ignore you.
>
> 10) While on the trail, even in conversation with other people, you
> refer to yourself in the third person.
>
> 11) While in a high-rise building's staircase, you can't climb up
> without wondering and comparing what it would look like if the
> staircase were unfolded and stretched along some ridge somewhere.
>
> 12) If rainy mornings leave you fearful of being wet and cold all
> day, even though your home or workplace is in a walled structure.
>
> 13) If, once wetted by rain in a non-hiking environment, your first
> thought is to reach for a comforting handful of GORP.
>
> 14) If extreme weather conditions of any sort instill curiosity
> about the current conditions on top of Mt _______.
>
> 15) If word association tests of the phrase "2 miles" prompt the
> answer "1 hour."
>
> 16) If you screen someone's personal attractiveness based on your
> estimate of how they'd look in a lean-to in the morning.
>
> 17) If you refer to even a single piece of hiking gear with a proper
>  name, such as "Betsy," "Maybell," "Mack," or "Bill."
>
> 18) If you have ever gone to a cocktail party and used the phrase
> "Yeah, but what's your trailname?"
>
> 19) If you remain incredulous that EVERYONE is not a member of The
> Clean Plate Club.
>
> 20) If you consider a hot shower to be a quasi-religious activity.
>
> 21) When it rains, even though you are at work, you want to drive home,
> immediately put on your gore tex jacket and see if it really will keep you
> dry in a
> pouring downpour that goes on for 5 hours.
>
> 22) same with your new tent
>
> 23) you have an entire wardrobe of nylon shirts and pants, even though
> you only take 1 with you when you hike
>
> 24) you have more backpacks than underwear
>
> 25) you wear Thorlo socks to the office
>
> 26) If the walls of your cubical are totally obscured with hiking
> pictures, articles about hiking, maps, etc.
>
> 27) If you know the distances between shelters, road crossings etc on
> "your" section of the Trail.
>
> 28) If you refer to a trail location as "my section," or my "overlook,"
> or "my campsite," etc.
>
> 29)When you are eating with friends (non hikers) and suddenly all is
> silent except for the noise that you are making as you scrape every
> fragment of barley from the soup bowl....and everyone is staring at you.
> And you are reeeeaaly glad you came to your senses before you start to
lick
> the
> bowl.
>
> 30) You are prone to storing your spoon in your mouth between courses.
>
> 31) You repeatedly drive off the side of the road because you are looking
> at the ridges and thinking 'what a hell of a climb that gap would be'
>
> 32) You return from the grocery store all aglow because you found a new
> line of  'meals in a bag'.
>
> 33) You fondle gear....even if it isn't yours.
>
> 34) On Thanksgiving, you thought about how much more food you could put
> away if you were on the trail...
> <<
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Nightwalker" <Nightwalker_AT@charter.net>
> To: <at-l@backcountry.net>
> Sent: Wednesday, February 16, 2005 10:35 PM
> Subject: Re: [at-l] Clothing "You know you're a hiker if....."
>
>
> >>
> You know, someone needs to send Matt the "You Know You're a Backpacker..."
> thingy.  <<
> SNIP
>
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