[at-l] Christmas Decorating, was Merry Xmas from Wilson The Trail Dog...

[GoVolsKelly at aol.com (GoVolsKelly@aol.com)]

OOOOOO!!!! I saw Wilson's pee pee!  And he's cute!!!  The dog, not the pee 
pee.

Anyway, I spent the day in Christmas lights.  I bought the fancy schmancy 
icicle lights to hang from the eave of my house.  I also got one of them purdy 
spiral Christmas trees to put on the phront yawd along with a reindeer to pee on 
it.  Complete with moving head! 

Anyhoo, I wanted to do all this light puttin' up with Mom, as she is as in to 
Christmas decoratin' as I am, and besides, the Boy was having NONE of it.  
Well, I grabbed the ladder from my office and up I went, hanging them freakin' 
tangles of lights, one slow foot at a time.  Did a pretty good job until the 
little plastic thingies that hold'em up kept fallin' off, so I took the whole 
lot of them plastic thingies BACK to Walgreens and got push pins.  Worked like a 
charm, except I had to do the whole thing all over again.  Grrrrrrrr.

Next, came the spiral lighted Christmas tree.  It's one of those lighted 
numbers that spiral up cone shaped like with a star on top.  Well, Mom and I's 
sittin' in the front yard, trying to untangle the durn thing and I goes, "I smell 
dog chit."  

Mom says, "So do I."  

I stood up, looked at the bottom of my shoes.... No dog chit.  So, I'm 
looking around, all wrinkly browed, smelling dog poo, looking and wonderin'......And 
then I saw the pile.  The pile that DID NOT come from my little three pound 
dog, but the pile from the neighbor's Labrador.  The pile that was no longer a 
pile... It was a SMUSHED pile of dog poo, and it was right where I was 
sitting.  I turned around and said to Mom... "Is there dog poo on my butt?"  Well, my 
answer came in the form of laughter.  Hyena type laughter.  The kind that 
busts guts. The variety of laughter that produces tears and wields one unable to 
breathe.

Well, I walked gingerly towards the house, and I don't know why I was walking 
gingerly, but the thought of having dog poo on your butt just simply makes 
one walk gingerly.  Mom, bless her heart, manages to crawl to the driveway on 
her hands and knees, and I'm hysterically laughing at myself at this point, and 
I'm half bent over the ladder that's on the porch, and the Boy comes BLASTING 
out the front door, all disheveled because he was taking a nap before he had 
to go open the restaurant, and he comes blasting out the door, hair sticking 
out all over the place in my flowered bathrobe looking like some kinda deranged 
Chinese punk rocker, going "ARE YOU OKAY???? WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!???"  Well, Mom 
goes, "Kelllhahahahahaha, woooo, shehahahahahaha, woooo, sat inhahahahahaha, 
DOGHHAHAHAHA SHITHAHAHAHAHA!" Well, of course he didn't understand a word of 
it, but he calmed down some after he was convinced I didn't fall off the ladder 
and break open my skull.  He had heard us laughing and thought I was crying.  
Poor guy!  

Eventually, we got everything up.  Time to plugger'in and see how it all 
looks.  I'm all excited!  It's gonna be so PURDY!!!!  Then I realize I'm standing 
there with two sockets and no plug.   GRRRRRRR!  Back to Walgreens. Mom was 
still hysterically laughing, telling anyone that cared to listen what I did.  I 
bought a switcheroo switchie thingie, and drove back to the house, convinced 
that Walgreens would lock it's doors the next time they saw me coming.  

We finally, FINALLY got it all together and lit properly, and it really is 
purdy!  It took the entire day, with lots of frustrating moments, but we did it. 
Just us girls.  We had a blast doing it, and we'll do it again next year, me 
and Mom.  I may even plop myself down in a pile of dog poo.  I mean, because 
really?  It just wouldn't be Christmas unless you sit down in a heaping, 
steaming, stinky pile of dog shit, now would it?

Merry Christmas!

GoVols

In a message dated 12/4/2004 7:11:49 PM Eastern Standard Time, 
atrailhiker@adelphia.net writes:


> www.hike-usa.com/wilson.jpg