[at-l] I can't take it any more!!!

[GoVolsKelly at aol.com (GoVolsKelly@aol.com)]

I'm getting hives from all this on topic stuff!  Just kidding!   Anyway, 
someone from the list sent me this a while back (Shelley?) and I thought  it would 
be a fun thing to post for Friday humor:
 
 
THE  YEAR'S BEST (ACTUAL) HEADLINES OF 2004: 

-- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures (who would have  thought!) 
-- Couple Slain; Police Suspect  Homicide (they may be on to something!) 
-- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges (hope that's stronger  than duct tape!) 
-- Man Struck By  Lightning Faces Battery Charge (he probably IS the battery 
charge!) 
-- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash,  Expert Says (no, really?) 
-- Police Begin  Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers (now that's taking things a 
bit far!) 
-- Miners Refuse to Work after Death (Why  those no-good-for-nothin' lazy 
stiffs!) 
-- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant (see if that  works any better 
than a fair trial!) 
--  War Dims Hope for Peace (I can see where it might have that effect!) 
-- If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It  May Last Awhile (you think?!) 
-- Study of  Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group (weren't they fat enough?!) 
-- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks (Tastes like chicken!) 
-- Local High  School Dropouts Cut  in Half (Texas Chainsaw  Massacre all 
over again!) 
-- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors (With help of 7  foot lawyers?!) 
And the winner is.... 
-- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery;  Hundreds Dead (I certainly hope  so!)