[at-l] When it's cold

[papabear.nyc at verizon.net (Papa Bear)]

60 above zero:
Floridians turn the heat on.
People in New England plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in New England sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian and English cars won't start.
People in New England drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and hats.
People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn on the heat.
People in New England have the last cookout before it turns cold.

ZERO:
People in Miami die - or return to Cuba.
New Englanders close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians go to Mexico.
People in New England get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in New England let the dogs sleep inside.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in New England get frustrated because "the caah won't
taaht".

459 below zero:
All atomic motion stops. (Absolute zero).
People in New England start saying, "cold 'nuff for ya?"

500 below zero
Hell freezes over.
Red Sox win the World Series.