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[at-l] Holmes, Cold Weather and Life
Suzie,
Thank you. Your response struck a chord with me. I am not obsessed with
the end but it crosses my mind more often now than it used to. The question
seems to be the measure of one's life by ones passing. I have always
thought that to die right one must live right. Surely that is just a general
rule of thumb. You may go out screaming in pain and begging for a quick and
merciful end but that won't affect the heart or core of who you are.
However it seems that the end is much easier for those who are giving souls
and at peace with God and not fearful of the transition. It also seems that
death is much harder for the selfish and fearful. Good people have died
poorly and bad ones have passed well. Are these exceptions to the rule or
does the rule not really matter?
My mother told me of the death of a great uncle in VA in the early 1920's
when she was a little girl. The family gathered around him at his death
bed. (they did things different back then...almost as if they treated death
as a normal part of life) He had them read a few bible passages and then
asked them to sing a favorite hymn and he passed away gently while they
sang. He lived a long, good and godly life by all accounts and God's mercy
and grace were on him. There have been equally good men and women killed in
horrible accidents or war who suffered terribly. But your death is not what
you leave behind and not how you will be remembered. It is your life that
you leave behind for others as a blessing or a curse.
My Fathers' great uncle was 94 when he was shot in a bar in Missoula
Montana. The family joke is that he was shot by a jealous husband. But he
died horribly and that is not how I want to go.
To make this more hiking-trail related, I have told my sons that there is a
particular place on the middle fork of the Gila River in New Mexico where I
would like to have my ashes returned to teh earth when I die. It is the
most special place on the earth for me because it is where I started
backpacking in my youth and where I first felt the magic of the trail. That
comforts me a bit when I think of that place as my final resting place. The
greater reality is that it doesn't matter one whit what happens to my body
when I go...I just want my boys to go back there from time to time and do
some more trout fishing. There they might think they hear me or maybe feel
my presence in the moonlight. Or they might 'only' experience some great
wilderness. I can see them smoking a fine cigar and toasting me with some
cheap tequila. They might smile or cry or regret or savor some memory of me
from their youth. Mostly I want them to enjoy the TRAIL for me in my
absence. Those are the kinds of things that we leave behind that define our
life and not the circumstances of our passing.
Just my 2.5 cents.
Tin Man
----- Original Message -----
From: "S Buchanan" <buchanan@gtcinternet.com>
To: "Shane Steinkamp" <shane@theplacewithnoname.com>
Cc: <at-l@mailman.backcountry.net>
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 8:19 AM
Subject: Re: [at-l] Holmes, Cold Weather and Life
>
> > If you wind up gasping for pain meds in a hospital bed, you pretty much
> > screwed it up somewhere along the way.
>
> Ouch. Rough way to assess a person's life, don't you think?? Measuring
> it by how they die?
>
> I may end up dying in a hospital bed, gasping for pain meds. I may die
> in a car accident. I may even die outdoors, on the trail somewhere. I
> could be murdered. I may simply quit breathing one night in my bed.
> Who knows how I will die??
>
> But I won't measure my life that way - I'd much prefer to measure it by
> how I live today. Today, after all, is all I've been given.
>
> I work with folks in a nursing home. I don't let them off the hook - I
> challenge them to LIVE - today. With everything they've got. I really
> do believe there is something to be grasped in every part of the
> journey. Some measure of life. Some depth of me. I don't intend to
> yellow-blaze around the tough parts of the journey, even if I need a
> little more pain meds to help me get through them. (Vitamin I, anyone?)
>
> life is good - so live it
>
> suzie
>
>
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