[at-l] trail incidents, etc. - so many thoughts . . .

[icw at esisnet.com (Clark Wright)]

Well, all the posts re the recent incident at the four pines hostel have 
  both motivated me to re-emerge from digest mode reading, and to post a 
number of conflicting thoughts and observations:

1)  Humanity is often complicated, difficult and frustrating . . .

2)  I hope the passage of time helps Popsicle to heal, both physically 
and emotionally - when she is ready, a return to the outdoors, under 
controlled circumstances where she can feel safe with one or more 
friends, likely would be good medicine! :)

3)  A basic rule of criminal law is "transferred intent."  This rule 
means that if you had specific intent to consume a lot of alcohol, then 
that specific intent transfers over to any crimes you commit while "out 
of control drunk."  This rule theoretically can (and actually has, in a 
couple of rare cases) even result in a first degree murder charge - the 
specific intent required for that crime is transferred from the specific 
intent to drink a lot.

4)  Alcoholism is a disease; I alreadly have lost a sister to alcohol 
related suicide, and am struggling with its addictive impact with 
several other members of my close family, so I also hope and pray that 
this incident may possibly have the impact needed upon FUBAR to realize 
that he needs help, and empathy too.

5)  As the facts related in these posts indicate, there are usually a 
number of factors that combine to create an "out of control" situation. 
    PLEASE know that by mentioning a few, I am not trying to place 
"blame" on anybody, just making the point that there are usually lots of 
links in the causation chain, and that in our day-to-day lives, we often 
have the power to changes things for the better - sometimes by the 
smallest of actions!  :)  What if the hostel owner had said "no?"  What 
if the prior actions of FUBAR had triggered a stronger response to camp 
further away?  What if someone had tried to help FUBAR long before now? 
  Those who have had a close friend, parent, significant other, family 
member or spouse who suffers from the disease of alcoholism or drug 
addiction need to educate themselves about co-dependency and how to deal 
with the facts, not judgment, and how to break at least some of the 
co-dependency links . . . with FUBAR, it looks like a good place to 
start might be with his wife . . . a lot of folks know that almost every 
town in this country has AA meetings every week - what many may not know 
is that most of those same towns also have AL-ANON meetings, too . . . 
AL-ANON meetings are for those who are in relationships with addicts, 
and there is a lot to be learned and done on all sides of this tough, 
tough issue - an issue that essentially impacts almost every family in 
America, either directly or within 1-2 degrees of kinship.

6)  At least one poster had a very positive experience with a sober 
FUBAR.  I would hope that the conclusion reached by that poster [that 
they wished they'd never met him] might be revisited by that poster. 
His experience sheds important light - we are all complicated, imperfect 
human beings.  Judge the actions as harshly as needed, but do your best 
not to throw out the good with the bad . . . Who knows?  Maybe Tin Man's 
positive experience gives real hope that FUBAR feels like total shit 
right about now.  If he does, then the best thing in the world that he 
could do would be to write Popsicle an open letter, face the judgment 
called for by his actions, get help, and offer himself as the one who 
will get off the Trail for the rest of this year [to get the needed 
help!] and invite Popsicle to return and finish her hike.

  7)  The rest of the rat pack need to do some introspective 
soul-searching . . . and, no, this is not about righteous judgment - 
just simply learning from the situation, and trying to learn about 
respecting the rights and needs of other people.  One thing I have 
struggled with mightily in dealing with my own very close up experiences 
with addiction is the competiting emotions of guilt and judgment . . . 
judging the addict harshly, and then feeling guilty about not being able 
to find a way to "make them stop."  Jesus sure sets the right example - 
unconditional love of the imperfect person, coupled with responsible 
judgment and punishment with regard to the imperfect person's actions. 
Boy, is that a lot easier to say than to implement!

8)  One other comment I would make is that - being sensitive to this 
kind of stuff - when I hiked on the AT in 2001, I met a LOT of people 
who either were dealing with addictive issues directly, or indirectly 
via the struggles of loved ones close to them.  I especially recall some 
intense firelight AT-therapy sessions we had . . . there is much good in 
that.  I also recall some really good times at Trail Days where I, and 
some of our group, were probably a smidge closer to FUBAR's state of 
being than we should have been!  :)  Again, no shame, no blame, just 
struggling with our own imperfections . . .

9)  Lastly, and maybe most importantly . . . two basic AA principles 
that apply to ALL of life:  (a) often, the best way to help yourself is 
to help someone else; and (b) the only way you can ever constructively 
love someone else is if/when you find a way to love yourself!  :)

Hike (and live!) on!

Thru-Thinker
[Clark Wright]