[at-l] Feliz Ano Nuevo - a Meditation on Packing Up

[janl2@mindspring.com (Jan Leitschuh)]

One Heavy Lesson backpacking has taught me -
Everything has Weight.
Everything.

This time around, I am choosing my packweight more carefully.
;-)

Off to tucker the barn...


Clark Wright wrote:
>
> Right now, I am reading a book called "Your Money or Your Life;" one of
> the first things discussed is how important it is to go back thru your
> entire life and figure up every dollar you have made, and in the process
> rediscover all the different things [jobs, etc.] you've done, and try to
> get rid of tons of paper and clutter, with the goal of re-discovering
> that, if we are not careful, one's occupations or hobbies can very
> easily become prisons . . . going through "stuff" for me is always a
> revealing trip down memory lane, but now I realize that - quite
> literally - if I do not throw more old stuff away, I cannot continue to
> grow and change . . .
>
> Somehow to me that fit with your post! :)
>
> thru-thinker
>
> Jan Leitschuh wrote:
>
> >Well, I woke up on this last day of 2002 feeling sentimental.
> >
> >Also a little pushed, since I have to be completely out of my barn by
> >tonite!  It has been astounding to me what I have sold, given away, donated.
> >If I think too much about the mere pennies on the dollar I am salvaging, I
> >could become ill.
> >So, like Scarlett O'Hara,  I don't think about it too much.
> >
> >I have watched in wonder, as my life of the past 30 years - a life of
> >full-bore horse ownership - flies out the door. It's as if Someone Else was
> >doing the sorting.
> >And what's left has been distilled into four Rubbermaid tubs - not the giant
> >size, either.
> >
> >The surviving distillate is pretty much what I use every day in training -
> >the core stuff.
> >All the horseKEEPING stuff? Gone. This is an amazement to me. I wonder if I
> >will ever own horses again. I am loving the freedom to be away on weekends
> >without worrying whether a client's expensive warmblood is colicking. There
> >are plenty of lovely barns in this area to work out of.
> >
> >But it's more than that. The intense equine connection - where has it gone?
> >I still love, love, LOVE being eyeball-to-eyeball with a student or a young
> >horse. The "juice" is still there.
> >
> >But right now, I don't want to own a horse. There are winds blowing through
> >me that are shaking me to the foundations, yet all I am feeling is the
> >gentle breeze of preparation.
> >
> >What's going on? Eh? Once again, I am getting this odd
> >"the-mind-is-the-last-to-know" feeling...
> >I like to think "I" am in charge of my life, yet this whole Trail Odyssey
> >has me questioning as to who/what is driving the boat here. It's hard to
> >explain, if you've never lived through it.
> >
> >This time, instead of fighting this current (as I did the concept of walking
> >the Trail), I am watching it. Letting it happen. Staying curious as to how
> >it all turns out.
> >
> >Though unsure what of is going on, all this tossing out and letting go, I am
> >finding it immensely liberating. Why doesn't everyone do this every five
> >years? A total top-to-bottom evaluation of their Life Stuff?
> >
> >In truth, I should have done this years ago, though probably I would not
> >have been as thorough.
> >
> >At the same time, putting all my things into storage feels very rootless.
> >This is a bit unnerving. For one, whether we admit it or not, we do create a
> >certain identity around "stuff." So, once Jan the HorseGal is packed away,
> >who is left?
> >
> >And then too, freedom itself can be unsettling. Unencumbered, I could go
> >anywhere, be anyone. If I think about it too long, one of two reactions
> >bubbles up: exhilaration, or queasiness. It's a coin toss.
> >
> >Well back to the barn. Tomorrow - ha! I start on the HOUSE!
> >
> >2003- my year to walk.
> >Feliz Ano Nuevo
> >
> >Jan
> >AT Class of '03
> >http://www.trailjournals.com/liteshoe/
> >
> >--
> >========================================
> >       Jan Leitschuh Sporthorses Ltd.
> >
> >       Website:
> >       http://www.mindspring.com/~janl2/index.html
> >
> >========================================
> >_______________________________________________
> >>From the AT-L mailing list         est. 1995
> >Need help?  http://www.at-l.org
> >Archives: http://www.backcountry.net/arch/at/
> >Change your options or unsubscribe:
> >http://mailman.backcountry.net/mailman/listinfo/at-l
> >
> >Stay on topic!
> >
> >

--
========================================
    	Jan Leitschuh Sporthorses Ltd.

	Website:
	http://www.mindspring.com/~janl2/index.html

========================================