[at-l] OT telling the truth (was Purism)

[rbenhameda@comcast.net (Rami)]

  <snip>
  > As long as you do what you say you
  > do so that you know, that's what counts.

  This kinda sounds like what I've been saying all along: Be honest.


  <snip>
  > I don't expect to change your passion for truth telling hikers but I hope
  > that you won't continue to suggest that Joes lie is unwinding the moral
  > fibre of society.

  But, it is. This isn't about truth-telling hikers. It's about truth-telling
  people.

I've been ignoring and deleting these for quite some time, they're getting old and boring so I really apologize for contributing to the operatic non-death of these threads, but I read this one, and something twigged my brain.

As I understand it, some folks feel like you're not a thru-hiker if you didn't white blaze the whole trail.  Those same people say you're a low down dirty dog if you told anyone, but especially ATC, that you thru'd but didn't do it the way they think you should have.

In addition to that, there are others who say you don't have to white blaze the whole trail to have a good hike, just so long as you don't go telling folks you thru'd when you really didn't (according to them)

And finally, Jim and or Ginny came back (from an enjoyable weekender?) and told the truth, and Jason Ball gave us some great advice.  If you didn't read their posts, go back and do it now.  

What I wanted to add is a bit more about telling the truth.

I wasn't a very nice kid.  I did things, on purpose, to hurt others.  Later I grew up and discovered that I didn't need to hurt people to feel good about myself.  I went to those people whom I had done or said things to and told them I was sorry for what I had done and then didn't argue with them when they unleashed on me.  It made me feel pretty bad at first, but later I felt better and I think they did too.  Since that time, 
I've been a liar.

I lie to people every day.  I lie at the store when I tell the person I don't mind when they have to put stuff back in order to afford what they need.  It's embarrassing enough to be in their shoes without me adding my frustration about the delay.
I lie to Carmen's teacher when I tell her that the kids in the Junior Greatbooks class which I teach were all well behaved.  They are creative and inventive, and I will tolerate quite a bit of obnoxiousness to allow them to track down their own ideas.  Sometimes being given the freedom to think in goofy ways is all a kid needs to grow into a great adult.
I lie to my kids all the time when I tell them that we can't afford to spend a fat wad of cash on a toy that I know will be ignored in less than a month.  I want them to understand fiscal responsibility and this is a good place to teach that lesson.  I don't need to tell them that the Barbie dream home is a piece of crap toy and I hate that they love it and that they think they have to have it.

I never lie when I tell my family that I love them beyond any measure and that I would do anything in my power to protect them and keep them safe for their whole lives.  I never lie when I tell my wife of my self-doubt about keeping the balance in Carmen's upbringing so that she will become a teenager who loves and trusts her family and knows that she can talk to us about anything, and who knows that it's ok to have fun, push boundaries, experiment and learn about herself.


Lies are a good thing when used appropriately, and if you don't think so, try telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth for just one hour today.  Don't hold back, tell your boss how nasty her perfume smells, tell the client how stupid his toupee looks, tell your spouse that it doesn't matter that they raced home to make dinner for you, you still hate that meal.  They all may be the truth, but do they add anything of value?  Does saying the truth in these circumstances improve anyone's moral fiber or just hurt people?

If I spend six months walking the AT and am happy and satisfied with my walk and make it as far as I planned to make it, I will call it a thru-hike.  If that happens and I claim a patch from ATC, I will do so in good conscience.  I don't need someone else's approval for me to know that I've completed what I set out to do.  You're deluding yourself if you think your soapbox grandstanding makes me think you are a paragon of virtue and that you alone are qualified to tell me how to hike my own hike.

The world is not a black and white place, our daily interactions with the rest of the world involve a complex mix of truth, lies, and omissions.  The issue of who's idea of morality should be observed on a dirt path seems a bit absurd to me.  Why not pay more attention, as Jim or Ginny suggested, to the mirror and less to what everyone else is doing.  
How I walk on the AT is up to me not you.  If I believe I qualify for a 2000 miler rocker, that's my decision, not yours.

-r



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