[at-l] Hiking Lists, families and me

[Debbie_Smith@millipore.com (Debbie_Smith@millipore.com)]

Hi all,

It's been a while since I posted to the list but recent discussions have
made me feel like I should.  What follows is my personal experience and my
personal opinion.  I tell you of them.  I don't require that you share
them.  Delete at will if uninterested, because it's LONG.

I have been off the list for many months now because work just became too
demanding to deal with it so perhaps some of you don't know me.  In 1997 I
was planning a thruhike of the AT and I heard that there were some mailing
lists about that very topic.  I found two - ATML and AT-L.  I tried to join
both of them.  As fate (luck, touchy software, whatever you want to call
it) would have it, I was successful at joining ATML but failed at joining
AT-L.  So all during 1997 and early 1998 I was a member of ATML and enjoyed
myself.  I talked to other prospective thruhikers, and to past thruhikers.
I talked about gear, I got and gave advice.  I "met" lots of nice people
including the owner and moderator of that list.  Then in March I went off
and hiked the AT and there I met an entirely different group of folks,
including some of the others who are on this list.  It was a great hike.  I
had my journal on the ATML website and lots of folks got to follow along
with my hike right to the end.  Then in September I returned to this world,
and this time I was successful joining both ATML and AT-L.

Now, these are two very different lists.  I will be brief about ATML -
sorry Ryan but for background I feel I must.  I like Dan (WF). However I am
not a person who likes lots of rules.  Just for the record, I posted
regularly to his list, and participated in the Saddleback 'campaign'.
However his requirements eventually became too much for me.  He required
that we post every X days (I don't remember the number but NO lurking) or
we'd be removed.  He required that we participate in his campaigns or we'd
be removed.  He frequently told people they were out of line - ALL totally
within his rights.  After all, it's his list.  However eventually a
campaign came up in which I did not participate and I was automatically
removed from his list.  I never rejoined.  It reminded me too much of my
dad saying "if you want to live in MY house, you'll live by MY rules" so I
moved out.

Meanwhile, I was also a member of AT-L and have to admit to you guys that I
was intimidated at first.  You all seemed to KNOW each other.  It was like
walking into a family.. trying to be a member but I was the new kid.  I
didn't get the inside jokes.  But you know what?  I stayed, I lurked and I
got into it.  Now, I wouldn't change it.  At times here we discuss
political issues... but not often.  At times we discuss gear, and pack
weight, and trails to hike.  People post their trip reports from day trips,
week trips, and thruhikes.  They post about the AT and lots of other
trails.  They post about their own websites, and gear they see on sale.
They post about personal losses and triumphs.  And we all get to share that
with them.  They post about things like upcoming political changes that
might/will affect wilderness, or Trail, or hiking.  We really do appreciate
the information and some of us act on them - privately.

This past weekend at the Gathering I was talking to one of my fellow
listers (she of the Red hair) about the fact that this is indeed a family.
In addition to giving me a place to come to talk about my hikes, my gear,
and my life it gives me the chance to get to know all of you.  I have met
some of the most wonderful people in my life on this list.  I love them.
There are fantastic people here.  These people are THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU
NEED THEM!  I never would have met them or known them in this way if we
weren't allowed to joke and laugh and enjoy smashmellows together.  I would
have missed all of the impertinences (and talent) of Felix and the emotions
of Sloetoe, the antics of Datto and his gear, and the sadness of Redhead
and her mom.  I would have missed Rambunny who just finished her second AT
hike and is planning a potential yo-yo next year.  I would have missed lots
of stuff I didn't WANT to know about true... but that's how a family is.
And I appreciate that this is a family.  And, like most families, there is
always that uncle that no-one wants to hear from but he is family.  And
there's that cousin who's antagonistic and tries to get a rise out of
everyone, but we put up with them.  So now I am a part of this family and
Ryan (young as you are!) is the only Dad there is and quite a lenient Dad
at that.

So yes, talk about your hikes, and your personal sadness/triumph and your
gear.  Talk about your hiker reunions and sightings and needs to borrow
stuff.  Tell inside jokes and eventually I'll get them (I hope).  Tell me
about political issues, but don't stuff them in my face.  I am a big girl
now.  I can decide if and when and how I will act.  I expect that everyone
here can too.  I don't need to tell you what I have decided to do.  We
don't need anyone to try to keep track of what we all do.  Just as no-one
can tell me how to hike the Trail, no-one can tell me how to respond to a
political issue or what is the best water treatment for me.  Give me
information, and I will decide.  But as a family we do need some level of
harmony and some of us want the family to grow... have new folks join and
STAY and enjoy the conversation too.  Conflict can be good, and can help
people share ideas and get different views across.  But we all know there
are (or should be) limits when opinions differ. If you want to fight, go in
the other room (off list).

And I ask that please, when you go to post ask yourself "Would I say this
IN PERSON, to a stranger?"  There are those on the list (and eventually you
may meet them).  "Would I say this IN PERSON and IN THIS WAY, in a friend's
face if we were sitting at a campfire together?"  There are friends on this
list too.  "Would I talk to my MOM like this?"  There are moms on the list.
Then post accordingly.  Thanks for listening, like a family.

Twilight
GA>ME '98