[at-l] Re: hiking single

[itinerant_ej@yahoo.com (EJ Baker)]

Funny to hear about all the women wanting children--I'm seeing the other side of this.  I found out this year that I can't have kids and all the men I've met, even the ones who already have children from previous marriages, are looking for baby breeders--that's one of their main conversation topics.  Perhaps, paul, you should email a list of the ones you're dating to me, and I can email back a list of guys looking to have more children.  I ran into a man at the laundromat today who has nine.  I asked him why and he said that they had to stop somewhere.  He has grandchildren and kids the same age and says he volunteers to do the laundry to get out of the house.  However, one of his sons is a mechanic.  I say, if you're going to have that many kids, make sure they all grow up to do things you need.
I guess I'm a somewhat selfish hiker.  I had a bit of a one week romance on the AT last year--but the guy only did 13 miles a day when I was doing 23-25.  He speeded up to 17 and I slowed down to that amount, but I felt compromised in my hike and my body hurt- -I lasted less than a week at his speed.  If he had been a "soul mate" instead of someone I was hanging out with because we both had the Virginia blues and couple-itus--being single and continually surrounded by couples for months--and a small physical spark, I suppose I would have felt the compromise was worth it.  Then again, I expect that any soulmate would be around after the trail, so I could hike ahead  and not worry about losing the contact.  The hike was way too important to me--it seemed that really being involved would mean suddenly having to worry about meeting someone, looking nice (I'm average but def. not in the hot hiker babe category--I like being really muddy and I'm always falling, there's usually blood coming somewhere through the mud--so I usually look somewhat war zone--having to look attractive to someone on trail would take a helluva lot of work and energy better spent hiking), having spats.  Some couples were awesome and seemed to be having a great time.  Some couples were in their own little worlds and watching them, I was just relieved not to be in such a bubble that my partner would be bigger to me than everything else going on around.  Then again, some groups were like that as well--I think I'm a solo snob right now, will stop here before I really put my foot in it.
In my dream date scenario, I'd find someone equally interested in both couple and solo endeavors and we'd support each other.  Today is the death anniversary of my late partner (8 years, my time crawls along!) and what I remember most fondly about our relationship was how anywhere in the world, I knew I could always call him if I needed him and he'd be there in spirit, if not physically--vice versa--which meant I hardly ever had to do so.  Knowing that he remembered me as I remembered him and was there for him is what made the relationship.  He actually was an extreme homebody and had intense arachno- and other bug phobias--the few times we went camping, I had to kill all bugs for him before he'd step out of the car--and I liked to roam around.  Didn't make a bit of difference, we were there for each other.  Being remembered is what counts.
I am still hoping to find that again, hopefully before 10 years have rolled by...
 EJ--in the midst of remembering tonight.



---------------------------------
Do You Yahoo!?
Make international calls for as low as $.04/minute with Yahoo! Messenger
http://phonecard.yahoo.com/

--- StripMime Report -- processed MIME parts ---
multipart/alternative
  text/plain (text body -- kept)
  text/html
---