[at-l] Fw: [Shevilleafterdark2] Another funny

["KC" <wareagle@ioa.com>]

Now this is funny!

> How To Be A Good Republican:
> 1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due
> to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline
> prices are all Clinton's fault.
>
> 2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success
all
> on their own.
>
> 3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social
> Security checks on time.
>
> 4. You have to believe that someone like Michelle Pfeiffer can really walk
> into an inner city classroom and accomplish miracles.
>
> 5. AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and
> overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
>
> 6. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
>
> 7. You have to believe...everything Rush Limbaugh says.
>
> 8. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and
hotel
> industries can survive without immigrant labor.
>
> 9. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death
penalty.
>
> 10. You have to believe society is colorblind and growing up black in
> America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for
> Alan Keyes.
>
> 11. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
>
> 12. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to
> Allah or Buddha.
>
> 13. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful
> husbands.
>
> 14. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly
> popular in the barrio.
>
> 15. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
>
> 16. You have to be against government interference in business, until your
> oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you
> beg for a government bail out.
>
> 17. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your
> hate for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
>
> 18. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police
> protection, national defense, and building roads.
>
> 19. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary
> history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school
> with a $1,000 voucher.
>
> 20. You only wanted Elian Gonzalez to stay in order to peeve the
President.


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