Re: [at-l] Life and love on and off the Trail

[TOKTAADN@aol.com]

In a message dated 4/5/00 2:49:30 PM Eastern Daylight Time, 
tmcginnis@ucclan.state.in.us writes:

> And I agree with everything you stated. But, what is it, really, that we're 
> all (all!) after? I struggle with that question.

I have given this a lot of thought.  And again, this answer applies to me 
alone.  There are certainly other perfectly valid possibilities.

First, until I'm on my thru, I'm neither in proximity to hiker babes, nor do 
I feel qualified to choose my life mate.  I expect the hike will change me, 
help me along the way of discovering which facet(s) of the mixed up me will 
emerge and give me direction for the rest of my life.  Because of commitments 
-- both financial and emotional -- to my son, I'm not currently free to 
explore this topic seriously.  The casual explorations have been quite 
enjoyable, though!  :)

Second, there are certain key attributes in the match of personalities: 
optimistic outlook, similar goals, good communication, natural chemistry and 
respect.  For me, it requires equality.  Neither partner should be considered 
dominant in the relationship.  And they shouldn't be so similar that as a 
couple growth won't occur.  With equality, respect and time, it means that 
two sets of dreams will eventually merge into one.  It won't be "his goals 
and dreams" or "her goals and dreams."  They will be a couple whose chemistry 
will change both of their outlooks and lead to goals and dreams neither could 
have formulated without the other, yet richer and more exciting than the 
goals and dreams they formed separately.

It really highlights the fine edge between selfishness and selflessness.  For 
everyone but my dreambabe, I come across as a selfish, obsessed dreamer -- 
and it is quite true.  But when I find her (and of this I have no doubt), I 
will gladly offer major parts of my individuality up to be part of a happy, 
loving, hiking couple.

Happy trails,

Solar Bear

"The true profession of a man is to find his way to himself."  Still looking, 
but I'm not finding any blazes.  :)
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