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[at-l] Should I listen to the signs?!?
- Subject: [at-l] Should I listen to the signs?!?
- From: "Kristen Kupersmith" <kkupersmith@thor24.com>
- Date: Fri, 7 Jan 2000 11:49:48 -0700
Oh boy, oh boy!!
Since I made my desicion to thru-hike last June, you would
not BELIEVE how many things are working against me for this
hike!!
First I meet Josh, the love of my life, in July. (He is
now my fiance) Of course, he does not want me to go, and I've struggled with
leaving him behind when we have been together such a short amount of
time.
Then I started having more migraine problems than ever
before. From August-October I was hospitalized SEVEN times with them. No
medicine that doctors have given me are working. The problem is not as severe
now as it was back then, but if it gets that severe on the trail, I'm afraid of
what might happen.
Then, from mid November until early-January I was having a
pregnancy scare, and really thought that I wasn't going to have a choice about
going or staying.
Then, in early December I was diagnosed with asthma, and
I'm learning how to not let it affect my physical activities.
Now, as of this morning, I was offered an excellent
promotion with my company. Instead of doing internet programming, which bores me
to tears since I am such a people-person, they are offering me a position in
sales.... selling the internet services and advertisements that I developed. It
would include a raise in salary, plus commission. Nobody believes in these
services like I do, since they have been my baby since conception, and I've
always wanted a job in sales. But, it would not be fair to take the job and then
leave in two months. So, I told them I would think about it over the
weekend.
Isn't this all crazy?!?!?!? I'm not even remotely a
religious person, but one might wonder if someone is giving me signs that I
should stay at home.
But, playing devil's advocate, one could say that I am
being tested to see how badly I really want to do this. And, maybe by going
against all the odds, and leaving so much behind, it will make me more motivated
than ever to finish what I set out to accomplish.
There have been good signs, too.... don't get me wrong. By
meeting Josh I had a place to move all of my stuff... no storage charges to
worry about. I am also going to be on his insurance policy, so that I don't have
to worry about high COBRA payments. He is also helping me out immensely with
financing a lot of this trip. I also know that he would happily support me when
I come back from the trail, and am looking for a job.
The migraines HAVE ceased, and that could be seen as a
positive sign.
I actually WASN'T pregnant, and that could be seen as a
sign.
Leaving the job behind, no matter how badly I want it,
will give me the option of "getting out of the rut" when I get home. I can go
back to school, or I can get into a whole new industry if I so choose....
without feeling trapped with the contentment and security of having a good job.
If they hired me back, then it was meant to be. If they don't, I was meant to be
working elsewhere.
It all so tough, and stressful. I guess I was just sorting
all this out in my own mind, and decided to post it to the list. If anyone
actually read my ramblings this far, then I'm impressed, and I thank
you. :)
Kristen