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[pct-l] Camping Tips
- Subject: [pct-l] Camping Tips
- From: "Tom Simon" <email@example.com>
- Date: Thu, 7 Oct 1999 16:23:59 -0700
It's getting to that time of the year when some of us take local trips and
end up in, ugh, campgrounds. Here are some pointers.
A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A
hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between
Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable campers to
stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch,
however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the
Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove
lint from navel before applying the match.
You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the
north side of your compass.
You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing
into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.
The canoe paddle, a simple device used to propel a boat, should
never be confused with a gnu paddle, a similar device used by
When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you
something to wipe your nose on.
Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping:
Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other
ear, do not go into the woods alone.
A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side
dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an
excellent hockey puck.
In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by
shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic
waistband of your underwear.
The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes
The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations.
The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the
Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly
country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.
In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to
strangle a snoring tent mate.
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