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[pct-l] Happy Gnu Year from Tin Can Stove Man

Greetings and happy Gnu Year to my dear, dear (and most perilously 
endangered) friends,

Yes, the rumors are true, Tin Can Stove Man has returned!!!!   Returned from 
the wilds of South America, from his comparative stove-testing experiments 
in the warm and sunny southern hemisphere, returned to the snowy and 
frost-bitten wasteland that is the United States in January!!!  And why, you 
ask, would Tin Can Stove Man do such a thing?  Because of YOU, dear reader!! 
Because YOU are in danger!!!!!!  Great danger!!!!!!

For this, my dear thru-hiker friends, is the most dangerous time of the year 
for those who plan on hiking the PCT in 2002. Although most of you are 
safely ensconced in the bosom of your warm and secure home, as long as you 
are assembling your gear for the 2002 hiking season, choosing which stove 
you are going to bring for your 3-6 month trek, you are not safe.  During 
the upcoming months, you will face a danger far more terrible than anything 
you might encounter on the trail!! More hazardous than slippery snowfields 
or rushing streams!!! More terrifying than rifle-wielding rednecks or 
shelters full of boy-scouts!!! More loathsome than swarms of ravenous 
mosquitoes or hissing, twitching rattlesnakes!!!!  More ominous than the 
threat of frostbite, heat exhaustion, or a slow and gruesome death by 
hunger, thirst, exposure, scorpion sting, spider bite, hypothermia, loss of 
vital organs, or any combination of the above!!!!!!!!  This danger, which 
stalks the minds and hearts and packs of thru-hikers from Maine to Manning, 
from Springer Mountain to San Diego, is the very real (and deeply 
terrifying) prospect that you will set off on your 2002 thru-hike with 
(>shudder<) THE WRONG STOVE!!!!!!!!!!   

Although I was far away from you, high in the Andes mountains, deep in the 
amazon rainforest, I could not free myself of the terrible vision of many 
thousands of hapless hikers facing the 2002 hiking season without the 
benefit of the Amazing Tin Can Stove, the most amazing invention since 
humankind perfected the wheel!!!!!!!!  I could not just sit and let this 
happen, knowing that your needless suffering would be my fault!!  So I have 
rushed back to let you all know that there is hope!! There is a choice!!! 
You don't have to set out with a heavy, unreliable, persnickety white gas 
stove!! There is an alternative to the needless pain and suffering that 
raises such cries of anguish, marring the serenity of our fair wilderness 
areas and long distance trails!!!!  This alternative is the Amazing Tin Can 
Stove!!!!, and for a limited time only (well, actually, anytime this winter 
or spring), it can be yours for the introductory low, low price of 

Yes, there is no need to clean your computer screen, you read this 
correctly!  The Amazing Tin Can Stove, which will make you the envy of every 
hiker on the trail and bring you wealth, happiness, and sexual prowess (as 
well as convenient heating for your trail meals) beyond your wildest dreams, 
can be yours for the asking!!  You no longer need to endure the agony, fear, 
and loathing of staggering miserably up the trail carrying a heavy stove 
which malfunctions half the time you use it!!  All you need to do is send me 
an email at tincanstoveman@hotmail.com, with your name and snail-mail 
address, and I will send you your very own Amazing Tin Can Stove.  There is 
no obligation to send any $$ in return (although small donations to cover 
postage are appreciated).  What are you waiting for?  You have everything to 
gain, and nothing to lose but your chains!!!!!

Up, Up, and Aflame!!!!!
The Tin Can Stove Man

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