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Re: [pct-l] Lone pine

TempeMIke wrote:
>I am leaving on Friday to hike the JMT from north to south. I want to leave a
>car at the south end of the trail. Does anyone know of any areas to park
>close to the Whitney trailhead. Is it safe to leave a car there for the
>better part of three weeks?
>Mike Lopercio

	Parking one's vehicle at Whitney Portal requires special attention
to avoid a break-in. Not only must one avoid leaving food or other scented
items inside, it's also crucial to avoid leaving even empty wrappers or
fast-food refuse in the vehicle.  Not enough to avoid eating in the car
beforehand;  I wouldn't drive up a car which was *ever* eaten in, and just
to be safe, I'd fast for three days beforehand (to prevent food-breath
entrapment in the upholstery).  Additionally I'd refrain from  driving thru
towns along the way out, to ensure that no stray fastfood molecules
whatsoever get picked up.  After all, it's been demonstrated in tests time
and again that not only will the faint smell of french fries attract bears
from other counties, but it will awaken bears that are hibernating,  even
bears that are dead.
	But after all this, you're probably saying, "Geez, why not rent me
a frickin' crane, trailer it up to Whitney Portal, and hoist my car twenty
feet off the ground!?"  and the answer to that is, of course, well-known to
us all, and that is that hanging doesn't work at Whitney Portal!  Mike,
you'll need to CANISTER your vehicle!  That's right, for 100% effectiveness
you'll need to employ more than the usual amount of care: you'll need a
solid steel-walled shipping container, one of those air-tight sea-vans, to
park in.  Weld the doors firmly closed,  completely evacuate the air from
the container and recharge with inert dry nitrogen gas.  Sure it sounds
like a pain, but trust me, if you miss that Burger King sack under the
seat, then you can relax better and enjoy your trip.
Thank me later......
Kevin Corcoran

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