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[at-l] HIKERS ANON. COMPLETE(?) LIST




>BotleNeck, T. McGinnis, et al:  This is the list as I have it, including
>the Meeting Notice, Meeting Rules, and Official Song.  NOTICE:  [PLEASE
>notice this notice! (vbg)] If I seem to have missed YOUR contribution,
>for goodness' sake let me know.  --  Earthworm
>
>----------------------------TRAILHEAD-----------------------------------
>
>Hikers Anonymous Association:  Symptoms of those who should join.
>
>1) A new hiking store opens and you have to go see what they have, even
>though you have 3 sets of every piece of camping equipment ever sold.
>
>2) A hiking or camping brochure arrives at work in the mail, and nothing
>seems to get done all morning until you've read it 3 times and highlighted
>new gizmos which you're sure you don't have.
>
>3) When you walk into a hiking or camping store your teen age son or
>daughter demands to hold onto your wallet and credit card until you are
>safely out of the store and on the way home
>
>4) Your kitchen has salamis drying all year hanging from the ceiling just
>in case you get an opportunity to catch a quick 2-3 day hike and need
>ready access to dried meat.
>
>5) Your closets and freezer are full of dehydrated food.
>
>6) You eat your cereal at home with powdered milk.
>
>7) You rush home every nite from work to read ATML or ATL or PCTL.
>
>8) You see, and confront, and FAIL to resolve the contradictory urges to
>acquire new gadgets and gear yet keep them out of your pack to keep from
>exceeding x% of your body weight.
>
>9) Pack manufacturers got "Caller I.D." just so they could know you were
>calling, and ignore you.
>
>10) While on the trail, even in conversation with other people, you refer
>to yourself in the third person.
>
>11) While in a highrise building's staircase, you can't climb up without
>wondering and comparing what it would look like if the staircase were
>unfolded and stretched along some ridge somewhere.
>
>12) If rainy mornings leave you fearful of being wet and cold all day,
>even though your home or workplace is in a walled structure.
>
>13) If, once wetted by rain in a non-hiking environment, your first
>thought is to reach for a comforting handful of gorp.
>
>14) If extreme weather conditions of any sort instill curiousity about the
>current conditions on top of Mt _______.
>
>15) If word association tests of the phrase "2 miles" prompt the answer "1
>hour."
>
>16) If you screen someone's personal attractiveness based on your estimate
>of how they'd look in a leanto in the morning.
>
>17) If you refer to even a single piece of hiking gear with a proper name,
>such as "Betsy," "Maybell," "Mack," or "Bill."
>
>18) If you have ever gone to a cocktail party and used the phrase "Yeah,
>but what's your trailname?"
>
>19) If you remain incredulous that EVERYONE is not a member of The Clean
>Plate Club.
>
>20) If you consider a hot shower to be a quasi-religious activity.
>
>21) When it rains, even though you are at work, you want to drive home,
>immediately put on your goretex jacket and see if it really will keep you
>dry in a pouring downpour that goes on for 5 hours.
>
>22) Same with your new tent.
>
>23) You have an entire wardrobe of nylon shirts and pants, even though you
>only take 1 with you when you hike.
>
>24) You have more backpacks than underwear.
>
>25) You wear Thorlo socks to the office.
>
>26) If the walls of your cubicle are totally obscured with hiking
>pictures, articles about hiking, maps, etc.
>
>27) If you know the distances between shelters, road crossings, etc. on
>"your" section of the Trail.
>
>28) If you refer to a trail location as "my section," or "my overlook," or
>"my campsite," etc.
>
>29) When you are eating with friends (non hikers) and suddenly all
>is silent except for the noise that you are making as you scrape every
>fragment of barley from the soup bowl....and everyone is staring at you.
>And you are reeeeaaly glad you came to your senses before you start to
>lick the bowl.
>
>30) You are prone to storing your spoon in your mouth between courses.
>
>31) You repeatedly drive off the side of the road because you are looking
>at the ridges and thinking "what a hell of a climb that gap would be."
>
>32) You return from the grocery store all aglow because you found a new
>line of 'meals in a bag'.
>
>33) You fondle gear....even if it isn't yours.
>
>34) On Thanksgiving, you thought about how much more food you could put
>away if you were on the trail...
>
>35)  You smile and let out a great big sigh when you read this list!!
>
>36)  If you are in the middle of an important report for work, and you
>forget completely about it because someone mentioned the word "Hiking."
>
>37)  You are eating dinner, and everyone is staring at you because you
>tell the waiter you won't drink the water till you see it boiled.
>
>38)  You see a new tent model, and cause a 12-mile backup in traffic
>because you jumped out of the car and left it in the middle of the road.
>
>39)  Your heart skips a beat when you see a bold sign stating "Tent Sale,"
>then are crushed when you find out that means that they are selling cars
>or furniture under a big tent.
>
>40)  If you'll  buy any book that has "hiking," "backpacking," "AT," or
>"trail guide" in the title.
>([including] "The cAT in the hAT".)  (well.....maybe [even in] the first
>two paragraphs <g> .k./\ )  And you already have ALL of them that have
>been published...in ALL of their editions.
>
>41) When you quote "WEEKS TO GO" and "DAYS TO GO" countdowns to loved ones
>and strangers alike, though usually to the backs of their heads.
>
>42) If more that half of your closet space contains backpacking and hiking
>gear.
>(More like half the room  ;-)  -Milt)  (ha- i have an entire room..
>Phillips/gammara1@mediaone .net)  (If you have a dedicated room for your
>backpacking and hiking gear. Jeff Walters)  (For us, it's one and a half
>rooms, 2 closets, part of the living room, the entire basement and the
>back of 2 pickup trucks. Walk softly but don't try to carry everything,
>Jim Owen)
>
>43) When looking at a gear catalogue, before looking at the price, you
>check out the weight. If it's not listed, you move on to something else,
>no matter how interesting it sounds.
>
>44) You insist that your wife/husband/s-other wrap all your Christmas
>gifts in brown paper with "Please Hold For AT Hiker" and "c/o General
>Delivery"  all over the outside with a big , fat , CFT (Cuban felt tip.)
>
>45) You're found by the young clerk at the Mall Sporting Goods Store
>sound asleep on a dozen or so Louisville Slugger's you carefully arranged
>on the floor of aisle 9.
>
>46) You get a warm and fuzzy feeling when you smell coleman fuel.
>
>47) You think Viagra is the name of those good ole hiking soles that last
>a long time.
>
>48) You find the AT Data Book a good read and keep it by the nightstand.
>
>49) When even your dog recognizes a white blaze.
>
>50) You commonly say "hiking" to mean backpacking, when everyone else
>means dayhiking....
>
>51) When asked how long the hike was you reply with the number of weeks or
>months....
>
>52) You DRIVE into a strange town and wonder where to pick up your mail
>drop....
>
>53) You start to recognize faces along the trail because you've passed/met
>these other nuts before.
>
>54) When your life is REALLY stressful by anyone's standards, but you
>don't even seem to notice, because YOU KNOW that in about 70-something
>weeks, you get to go on a nice, long hike.
>
>55) You think "being off medication" means not taking vitamin I.
>
>56) When you can't get away you really want to knock out the outside
>bedroom wall or just set the tent up in the back yard!
>
>57) You know you're addicted (or perhaps hopelessly beat up) when you
>leave your Lekis by the staircase!
>
>58) Whenever you travel on the east coast you try to pick out where your
>route crosses the AT, even when you're flying.
>
>59) When the marker on the in/out board at work is the AT symbol.
>
>60) When you go to the store and check to see how many yards versus weight
>on each brand of TP so you can be sure and have enough TP on the trail yet
>keep it as lightweight as possible.
>
>[NOTICE: (for k./\  {vbg} )  #60 was given as #61 in the e-mail.  So I may
>have missed one??]
>
>***** MEETING NOTICE ! ************
>>From rdudley@po.father.com
>Subject: [at-l] Hiker Anon
>Date: Fri, 4 Dec 1998 19:57:37
> The first meeting of Hiker Anon, PA chapter takes place this
>weekend at the Allentown Shelter.  To help you get over your desires to
>hike representatives from REI, EMS, Campmor and Nesters will have displays
>of the newest gear.  Be there or be square<G>
> Grey Owl
>
>***** MEETING RULES ! *************
>>From Bartholomew Lally
>Subject: Re: ATML Hikers anonymous assoc
>Date: Fri, 4 Dec 1998 00:35:27
> Sorry, you cannot bring gear to meetings, you must also shower,
>get a ride and no boots please. Remember we are here to recover.
> Soul S
>
>***** OFFICIAL SONG ! *************
>>From Datto IsIn
>Subject: Re:  [at-l] A few more Hiking Anon.
>Date: Sun, 6 Dec 1998 02:22:48
> Straight from my adjacent Yamaha PSR 510 keyboard. Think funky
>keyboard with some insitu sax here...wearing my sunglasses in front of
>the monitor...okay everyone sing it one time with me out loud now...
>
>Mustbuy Sally
>I guess you better *slow* that buying down...
>Mustbuy Sally now baby (da boom boom)
>Guess you better slooow that buying down...
>
>You've been runnin' all over town now...
>Ooo! I guess you've gotta put your feet onnn the ground.
>
>(Sing it to me one more time girls)
>
>All you wanna do is hike around baby
>(Hike, Sally, Hike)
>All you wanna do is hike around baby
>(Hike, Sally, Hike)
>Come on, All you wanna do is hike around Sally
>(Hike, Sally, Hike)
>I'll tell you...
>
>One of these early mornnnnings....
>You're gonna be swiping that credit card.
>
>Ha! Everyone shake it with me now and sing some more...
>
>You bought you a brand new backpack
>About ci 4165, Ha!
>Now you come around, signifyin' woman
>Girl you forget about that hike.
>
>Mustbuy Sally (Ooo Sally)
>I guess you better *slow* that hiking down.
>Mustbuy Sally now baby (you go girl)
>Guess you better slooow that hiking down...
>
>(Everyone...Ray Charles it here..)
>
>You've been runnin' all over towwwn
>^Ooo^ I guess you gotta put those *feet* onto the ground.
>Oh yes, baby you gotta put your feet..
>Come on boss...Take it down from here girls...
>
>Those swiping cards...
>Those swiping cards...
>Those swiping cards...
>
>Oh yeahhhhh....
> Datto
>
>----------------------------TRAIL'S END--------------------------------
>
>
>Linda L. Patton, Reference Librarian, Strozier Library, Florida State Univ.
>      Tallahassee, FL 32306-2047 (850)644-5019 lpatton@mailer.fsu.edu
>          "A world without wilderness is a cage." -- David Brower
>* From the Appalachian Trail Mailing List |  http://www.backcountry.net  *

* From the Florida Trail Mailing List | http://www.backcountry.net *

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