Re: [at-l] Good reads

["W F Thorneloe, MD (Domain will change soon to attglobal.net)" <thornel@ibm.net>]

At 10:06 AM 11/6/1999 -0500, CWells4638@aol.com wrote:
>So just where did you learn to fix a cell phone?  ;-)

Simple, from the Cell Phone for Idiots Guide, for instance:

Cell phone malfunction:
1) If cell phone in use from mountain top vista?

2) Is cell phone used by Yuppie loudly calling acquaintances about the 
beautiful view?

3) Is Yuppie getting ready to call another acquaintance?

This is a common cell phone malfunction based on operation in an 
inappropriate setting. To help the user find the appropriate setting and to 
reset the phone, follow one of the following procedures.

A) Comment sagely, "Anal orifice, turn off the phone!"

B) If that fails, begin growling in a threatening manner.

C) Should that fail, remove phone from the Yuppie's hands, and remove the 
battery. Place battery in your pack, and offer to carry the battery to the 
nearest road crossing. DO NOT toss the battery or the phone from the 
mountain vista, to avoid littering and environmental damage from the toxic 
contents of the battery and phone. Return the battery at the agreed 
location, or mail to recycling station upon the termination of your hike. 
Once the battery is re-implanted on the phone, the phone will reset for 
appropriate use.

D) In severe malfunctions, the battery may require radical implantation 
into the anal orifice of the Yuppie. This may require more time to allow 
resetting to complete, but rarely fails to discharge the battery.

OrangeBug
Atlanta, GA 
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