[at-l] Laugh or Not

["John Musick" <musick@ezwv.net>]

Found this nailed to a cottonwood tree near Clear Creek in The Grand Canyon:






DISORDER IN COURT-actually said in court,
word for word:

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q:  What year?
A:  Every year.
**************************
Q:  What gear were you in at the moment of
the impact?
A:  Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
**************************
Q:  This myasthenia gravis-does it affect
your memory at all?
A:  Yes.
Q:  And in what ways does it affect your
memory?
A:  I forget.
Q:  You forget. Can you give us an example
of something that you've forgotten?
**************************
Q:  How old is your son-the one living with you.
A:  Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q:  How long has he lived with you?
A:  Forty-five years.
**************************
Q:  What was the first thing your husband
said to you when he woke that morning?
A:  He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q:  And why did that upset you?
A:  My name is Susan.
**************************
Q:  And where was the location of the
accident?
A:  Approximately milepost 499.
Q:  And where is milepost 499?
A:  Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
**************************
Q:  Sir, what is your IQ?
A:  Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
**************************
Q:  Did you blow your horn or anything?
A:  After the accident?
Q:  Before the accident.
A:  Sure, I played for ten years. I even
went to school for it.
**************************

Q:  Trooper, when you stopped the defendant,
were your red and blue lights flashing?
A:  Yes.
Q:  Did the defendant say anything when she
got out of her car?
A:  Yes, sir.
Q:  What did she say?
A:  What disco am I at?
**************************
Q:  Now doctor, isn't it true that when a
person dies in his sleep, he
doesn't know about it until the next morning?
**************************
Q:  The youngest son, the twenty-year old,
how old is he?
**************************
Q:  Were you present when your picture was
taken?
**************************
Q:  Was it you or your younger brother who
was killed in the war?
**************************
Q:  Did he kill you?
**************************
Q:  How far apart were the vehicles at the
time of the collision?
**************************
Q:  You were there until the time you left,
is that true?
**************************
Q:  How many times have you committed
suicide?
**************************
Q:  She had three children, right?
A:  Yes.
Q:  How many were boys?
A:  None.
Q:  Were there any girls?
**************************
Q:  You say the stairs went down to the
basement?
A:  Yes.
Q:  And these stairs, did they go up also?
**************************
Q:  Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather
elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A:  I went to Europe, Sir.
Q:  And you took your new wife?
**************************
Q:  How was your first marriage terminated?
A:  By death.
Q:  And by whose death was it terminated?
**************************
Q:  Can you describe the individual?
A:  He was about medium height and had a
beard.
Q:  Was this a male, or a female?
**************************
Q:  Is your appearance here this morning
pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
A:  No, this is how I dress when I go to
work.
**************************
Q:  Doctor, how many autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
A:  All my autopsies are performed on dead
people.
**************************
Q:  All your responses must be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
A:  Oral.
**************************
Q.  Do you recall the time that you examined
the body?
A:  The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q:  And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A:  No, he was sitting on the table
wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
**************************
Q:  Doctor, before you performed the
autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A:  No.
Q:  Did you check for blood pressure?
A:  No.
Q:  Did you check for breathing?
A:  No.
Q:  So, then it is possible that the patient
was alive when you began the autopsy?
A:  No.
Q:  How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A:  Because his brain was sitting on my desk
in a jar.
Q:  But could the patient have still been
alive nevertheless?
A:  It is possible that he could have been
alive and practicing law somewhere.
**************************
Q:  You were not shot in the fracas?
A:  No, I was shot midway between the fracas
and the nave



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