Re: [at-l] hiking friends

["David F. Addleton" <dfa@wimlaw.com>]

CHoover241:

> I log on and get reports on hiker babes and tutus. This is the light
list. As 
> a matter of fact, this is the list that thinks it okay to leave loved
ones at 
> home, because they just have to understand.

I think this has more to do with personal priorities and relationships than
the AT, but that's ok because that's part of hiking, too. 

Emotional capital and real dollars have a lot in common ... If your
significant other views something as important to him or her, then you'll
want to give it him or her ... compromise and loyalty seem important to
long term relationships and separation doesn't seem to implicate either,
imho. .

> Here is to the point. The person that I love and worry about and care
about 
> more than anything has abandoning me to hike.

A hike in the woods isn't abandonment.  My wife heads to Brazil, Argentina
on a work assignment, wants to see New Orleans while I want to hike. We
come back home, supporting each other in our respective interests.

> Not one of you has sent me an 
> e-mail about how I am doing.I get them asking about how HE is doing, but
no 
> one thinks that being left at home is a matter of any importance.

You should start a list for for the folks left at home ... i suspect this
is an important aspect of thru hiking. I recall the story from  Everest a
few years back of a guide dying near the summit, patched in via radio to
his pregnant wife, an extreme example, I suspect, of what your're talking
about. In their last conversation they named their child, who will never
know its father except via video, tape, and printed word. But that's how he
made his living.
My great-grandfather in law was an electrician who died away from home
doing his work on a pole, leaving a widow to care for several children ...
who was forced to leave one in an orphanage, the one who grew up and became
a millionaire (and took care of his mom) ... and my wife's grandfather.
Lot's of emotion there ... he spent is nest egg avoiding a second round in
an institution ... and no one blames him for that ...  point being that
separation need not mean a lack of loyalty or love, despite being painful
..

> Goodness, 
> you guys will leave your kids in a second for a chance to hike.

I take mine along whenever possible.  My kid'll leave me for three weeks to
visit China, the UK, go diving, or rock climbing. She's still my kid, she
still loves me and I her. She's coming back, hopefully substantially more
independent, individual, and capable than whe she left. I look forward to
the day when she solo walks, drives, flies, kayaks, whatever home from
college, work, boyfriend, husband. . . .

I've been taking them out doors with me since they were in diapers.

You can't learn to deal with separation anxiety without actually separating
. . .  Good luck.


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