[at-l] Mummy Bags

["Ern Grover" <ern@cybertours.com>]

A word about mummy bags..

Being from New England gives one a trait of "stinginess".  We have an image
and heritage, you know.  Being married to a "Dutchman", I've more than my
share of stinginess.  Not wishing to purchase a sleeping bag at full price,
I did some shopping on the Internet at all the big fancy places.  Finally I
resorted to the resources of Ebay.

So now I have this 20-degree down sleeping bag.  I think I paid $35 plus
shipping from an obscure place in the mid-west.  When my parcel arrived, I
eagerly opened the wrapping to reveal a square fiberglass container with a
bolt down the middle.

"USMC, hmmm, looks like government stuff to me."

Upon reading the label, I surmised this was war surplus equipment from the
U.S. Marines.  There was a long number and a bunch of military stuff with "1
each" here and there.  I asked around a bit from a couple of "jarheads".  It
seems these were disposable air rescue sleeping bags.  They would be opened
as a rescue helicopter hovered over a downed victim.  When the soldier or
pilot was safely on board, the medic would get rid of his bulky equipment
and put him in the rescue bag.

"That's kinda neat.  I wonder how it works?"

Aside from the annoying hundred or so puncture wounds on the outer shell of
the sleeping bag, it's a rather roomy piece of equipment.  There is no
zipper, rather there is a drawstring secured with a leather stop tab to
close the shoulder opening.

I took my "jarhead" special on a hike this week.  It wasn't a big mystery.
Crawl in and enjoy the warmth and comfort of down.  So what if there seems
to be flies in the air from the few fragments of down escaping through the
holes.  Hey, I've a plan!  I'll stop the holes with a dripping candle.

Nights in the forest can be very long.  It's so quiet.  Silence can be very
loud when you're used to the ordinary noises of life. I never sleep well on
my first night.  Perhaps you do.  Karl says I snore within minutes.  Maybe I
dream about sleeping, I don't really know.  On my second night I'm normally
so exhausted, I never remember my head hitting the pillow.

So I tossed and turned most of my first night on my recent outing.  My
thermometer indicated 36 degrees, so the 20-degree bag would be on the warm
side.  I wore my socks, my long underwear and a light long-sleeved hiking
top.  It was well after midnight when I realized I was sweating bullets.
Finally I maneuvered my toes just right in order to pull off my long
underwear.  This is quite a trick inside a mummy bag.  Would it have been
simpler to come out of the bag and remove them in the normal way?  Of course
it would, but that would be no challenge.  In the end I settled in at the
perfect temperature, closed my eyes and waited for sleep to overtake me.

No!  No!  I have to go.  Drat!  Comfort at last and the sound of running
water took it's plight.  I did my best to talk my way out of going, even to
the point of imagining I'd left my warm cocoon to answer the call of nature.
I reached for my little mag light, unzipped the "no see 'um" door, and
hopped through the thickets away from the campsite.

Now you can say all you want about the feeling of an "ice cold Coke on the
back of your throat", but there's nothing that can compare to a good wizz.
This urge simply wouldn't go away with "mind over matter" techniques or by
crossing my legs.

Daybreak filtered through the dense growth of new forest at the campsite.  I
felt like I hadn't slept.  It was time to get up, but I couldn't come to
grips with that reality.  Instead I fell asleep again.  This "jarhead"
sleeping bag was so roomy and comfortable, I couldn't bear the thought of
crawling out.  When I finally woke up, it was almost 930 A.M.

My recommendations:

1. Bid low on Ebay
2. Take a wizz before climbing into your sleeping bag


Ern Grover a.k.a. "Sweeter-Rain"
(207) 490-3500
Chapman Associates (health and life insurance)
26 Webster Street, Springvale, ME  04083
ICQ 922536 / MediaRing 207 3241544
http://www.ticktock.bizhosting.com/hiking.htm

"I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer
cans."

eGroups.com home: http://www.egroups.com/group/sweeter-rain


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