Re: [at-l] humor (?)

[KEITH McLeod <McLEOD-KEITH.DOREEN@worldnet.att.net>]

Paul Miller wrote:
> 
> may we know which 15 you identfy with? :) <j/k>
> 
> BotleNeck
> 
There is a saying down here in Fl that the farther South you go the
farther North you get and I am midway so maybe that is why only half
apply. Here goes:
Things I would never say:
1. "I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex"
2. "Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer"
3. "You can't feed that to the dog"
4. "I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy"
5. "Who's Richard Petty?"
6. "Give me the small bag of pork rinds"
7. "Trim the fat off that steak"
8. "Would you like your fish poached or broiled?"
9. "My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's"
10. "I've goe two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl" 
11. "Littel Debbie Cakes have too many fat grams"
12. "Checkmate"
13. "I don't have a favorite college team."
14. "Elvis who?"
15. " I couldn't find ANYTHING at Wal-mart today."  

Things I might say:
1. "Duct tape can fix anything"
2. "Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken"
3. "We don't keep firearms in this house"
4. "No kids in the back of the pickup, it's not safe"
5. "Wrasslin's fake"
6. "Deer heads detract from the decor"
7. "Spittin' is such a nasty habit"
8. "The tires on that truck are too big"
9. "I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad."
10. "I've got it all on floppy disk"
11. "Unsweetened tea tastes better."
12. "She's too old to be wearing that bikini."
13. "Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?"
14. "Hey here's an episode of Hee Haw that we haven't seen."
15. "Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darlin'."

						Triathlon Grandma
								
 From: KEITH McLeod <McLEOD-KEITH.DOREEN@worldnet.att.net>
> To: Pat Villeneuve <patv@falcon.cc.ukans.edu>
> Cc: at-l@backcountry.net <at-l@backcountry.net>
> Date: Wednesday, June 09, 1999 12:29 AM
> Subject: Re: [at-l] humor (?)
> 
> >As a 32 year Southerner I can only identfy with 15 of the thirty. Maybe
> >it takes another 32 to really get in your bones.
> > Triathlon Grandma
> >
> >Pat Villeneuve wrote:
> >>
> >> Okay, I'm about to get in trouble with all my southern friends, but this
> >> is trail related...
> >>
> >> 30 Things you would NEVER hear a True Southerner say...
> >>  >
> >>  > 30. "I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex."
> >>  > 29. "Duct tape won't fix that."
> >>  > 28. "Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken."
> >>  > 27. "We don't keep firearms in this house."
> >>  > 26. "Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?"
> >>  > 25. "You can't feed that to the dog."
> >>  > 24. "No kids in the back of the pickup, it's not safe."
> >>  > 23. "Wrasslin's fake."
> >>  > 22. "I'll have a grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy."
> >>  > 21. "Who's Richard Petty?"
> >>  > 20. "Give me the small bag of pork rinds."
> >>  > 19. "Deer heads detract from the decor."
> >>  > 18. "Spittin' is such a nasty habit."
> >>  > 17. "Trim the fat off that steak."
> >>  > 16. "The tires on that truck are too big."
> >>  > 15. "I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad."
> >>  > 14. "I've got it all on a floppy disk."
> >>  > 13. "Unsweetened tea tastes better."
> >>  > 12. "Would you like your fish poached or  broiled?"
> >>  > 11. "My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's."
> >>  > 10.  "I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl."
> >>  >  9. "Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams."
> >>  >  8. "Checkmate."
> >>  >  7. "She's too old to be wearing that bikini."
> >>  >  6. "Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?"
> >>  >  5. "Hey, here's an episode of Hee Haw that we haven't seen."
> >>  >  4. "I don't have a favorite college team."
> >>  >  3. "Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darlin'."
> >>  >  2. "Elvis who?"
> >>  >      And the number one thing you will NEVER hear a TRUE Southerner
> >> say:
> >>  >  1. "I couldn't find ANYTHING at Wal-Mart today."
> >> * From the Appalachian Trail Mailing List |  http://www.backcountry.net
> *
> >* From the Appalachian Trail Mailing List |  http://www.backcountry.net  *
> >
> 
> * From the Appalachian Trail Mailing List |  http://www.backcountry.net  *
* From the Appalachian Trail Mailing List |  http://www.backcountry.net  *

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