Re: [at-l] Datto's funny story

[KEITH McLeod <McLEOD-KEITH.DOREEN@worldnet.att.net>]

That's the best one yet! Made my day.
					Triathlon Grandma

Debbie_Smith@Millipore.com wrote:
> 
> Okay, so Datto finally decided to respond to email... gave an explanation
> of his absence but didn't include the funny story!  Luckily for you all (or
> y'all if you're from the South) he did send it to me privately.  Since he
> makes obscure reference to it in his reply (where the deer and the hornets
> do play), I feel the need to share it with each and every one of you.  I
> think he wanted to but was just shy. (Yeah, you'll believe THAT when you
> read this story.) So it's here at the end.  But first, a couple comments to
> you Datto:
> 
> > I chase tents without any...I chase tents.
> 
>      Without any... pants on???  I see a pattern here
>      I think Give me Chocolate was right about the
>      strange things your neighbors see in your yard
> 
> > Oooh Twilight. It's a spiked collar. And it looks divine.
>      May my tent have another Trailmistress?
> 
>      I don't even want to go there...your personal life, IS.
> 
> So here's is Datto's funny story which he shared with me. Hope y'all laugh
> as hard as I did. (Here you may begin to see the pattern of being out on
> the deck with no pants on, like when he was chasing his tent)  I wanted to
> call this "Datto's Big Adventure" or "Datto Does Deck Dancing" but since he
> didn't give it a title, I just left it.
> 
> Twilight
> GA>ME '98
> 
> ================================
> 
> The first house I built had a huge deck out back that faced into
> several acres of woods. One afternoon I came home from work about
> 4:30pm, took a quick shower and donned only my robe before going
> outside to read the newspaper.
> 
> As I was sitting on the deck seat for 20 minutes or so, reading the
> newspaper, all of a sudden I felt a sharp sting to my chest. Not
> knowing what the sting was I slapped at it through my robe. It turned
> out to be a hornet that had flown up my sleeve.
> 
> Now before I tell you what I did at this point, let me tell you about
> how the people inside my house saw the event. They didn't know I was
> out on the deck so they had locked the sliding glass door from the
> inside. Turning away from the sliding glass door they saw me all of a
> sudden stand up with a startled look on my face, beat my chest with my
> fist, throw the newspaper into the air and run headlong for one of the
> sliding glass doors. They thought all of a sudden I'd lost my mind and gone
> crazy.
> 
> Before the people inside my house could figure out how to unlock the
> sliding glass door, I had convinced myself there were hundreds of
> hornets swarming in on me. I was swinging at the imaginary hornets
> with my arms, all the while being continuously stung by the sole
> hornet still inside my robe.
> 
> I yanked on the sliding glass door to gain access back into the house.
> Locked. I ran to one of the other sliding glass doors. Also locked. I
> couldn't see into the house because the back of the house faced west and
> the western sky reflection filled the glass on the outside. All the time
> the people inside my house were standing there at the glass, watching me
> run around like a crazy man.
> 
> With the hornet still stinging me underneath my robe, I decided to
> strip off my robe and swing the robe in a wide circle above my head at the
> imaginary hornets. So now I am standing on my deck in front of the sliding
> glass doors, with people inside my house watching me strip completely naked
> and start swinging the robe above my head. Still they have no clue to the
> real cause of my actions. All they see is a crazed, naked man swinging a
> robe in a circle above his head.
> 
> Okay, you're thinking here it can't get any worse, right? Well guess
> again. I decided since the sliding glass doors were locked I'd drop the
> robe and run around the front of the house to enter via the front door and
> escape the imaginary hornets.
> 
> Unfortunately, the people next door were in the process of selling
> their house when I appeared buck naked flailing my arms running up the side
> of my house to escape the imaginary hornets. Of course, the
> prospective buyers and the sellers happened to be standing right
> outside the front door of the seller's house as I came around the back
> corner of my house. The sellers and the prospective buyers stopped what
> they were doing and just gaped at me in complete amazement when I appeared
> in view.
> 
> As luck would have it, I didn't see them until I'd walked most of the
> way up the sidewalk and in full view. At this point, you have a
> choice; run away to the back of the house and be embarrassed or
> continue ahead trying to walk normally, casually. I chose the latter.
> 
> As I walked by the group of people next door I was trying to think of
> something to say. Not being able to come up with anything better, I
> finally looked at them, smiled and said, "Hey, some party!".
> 
> Needless to say the prospective buyers didn't move in next door. The
> sellers never spoke to me after that and moved out of the neighborhood a
> few weeks later.
> 
> Me? I went into the front door of my house, escaped the "hoards" of
> imaginary hornets and put on a long coat from the front closet to
> cover myself. The people inside my house ended up treating several
> stings on my chest and arms from that one and only hornet.
> 
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