[at-l] Welcome back, Felix

[TOKTAADN@aol.com]

Welcome back, Felix
We missed you so
It just wasn't the same
Even with Datto.

So desperate were we
For crazy things to do
That the Gathering was marred
By a guy in a pink tutu.

But the hiker babes went lifeless
Except when you hiked by
Leaving us hiker dudes
Wondering the reason why.

A book by Bryson
Stirred up some flames
Some hikers were mad at his gaffes
But a lot of us read it
And had a few laughs
But a book of Felix wit
'Bout his thru and a half
Will put "A Walk in the Woods" to shame.

So tell us Felix ol' boy
How the Trail changed you
Just a simple story or two
They don't even have to be true.

In fact from you nonfiction
Would be a gross contradiction
Instead we want rope and beans
And more Mrs. Purtlebaugh scenes
With a monkey or two
Perhaps in a stew
Or painted baby blue
Don't deny it's something you'd do.

We got updates from time to time
As you hiked and met listers everywhere
And after hearing of your exploits
Just one question, "Is the Trail still there?"

So Springer was the very last hill
That succumbed to your indomitable will
Through night after night of cold chill
It must have been quite a thrill!

Welcome back, Felix
I found your green wall it
But since it was the holidays
I just decided to mall it
At Penneys and Sears and the rest
But now it's time I confessed
My misuse of your plastic
With a simple forgery trick.

So as those real world debts mount
Don't give it a second thought
Cuz you're a 2000 miler even if
In a debtor's prison you'll rot!

Happy trails,

Solar Bear













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