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Re: [at-l] ATML



Lucian Hicks wrote:
> 
> I'm really close apparently to getting thrown off of ATML.  I've asked, and
> I've asked, but no one there seems to be able to tell me:  what do you have
> to do there?  I thought it was about the AT, but sheesh!  Help!!  I like the
> people I've met there, but there's this o-n-e g-u-y....  Is it me?  I
> thought I was pretty easy to get along with.  It's soooo frustrating to get
> the flames for innocuous comments.
> 
> Lucian ("Bristlecone")
> GA>ME '99

Lucian,
Some people can't read all that well, though they may not realize that.
They scan for meaning, but miss the point. Therefore they misinterpret
what you say - usually in the worst possible way. Others deliberately
look for the negative, in order to get some excitement in their lives. 
They create flamewars, just for the fun of it. For some reason, there
are a lot more of that kind on atml than on at-l. Always have been.  I
know how frustrating it is to get attacked for nothing - you don't
remember the monkeybutt war - but it was painful, because it started
like that - getting attacked out of nowhere for something said with an
intent to be helpful. On at-l, when people are out of line, they are
told so, privately, and usually they decide it's not worth keeping it
up. (I got a very heartfelt apology from the monkeybutt writer - he
said, "you have a lot of friends on this list." ) And that's why AT-l
gets fewer flamewars. We barely get a match warm before others step in
and say, "let's be reasonable."  Some people are just assholes, and you
can do nothing about them except ignore them. Some are well meaning, but
get stupid sometimes. Again, best is to ignore them, though you can try
to talk to them. I've said my share of really stupid things, usually
when I get hot about something and send off a post without cooling off
first. Some people don't understand e-mail well.  There are things that
work, and others that don't, when writing publicly.  Sarcasm never
works.  It just comes across as nastiness.  Irony gets lost, because a
lot of people don't understand it. Best is to reread everything you say
before you send it, to see if what you say is open to misinterpretation.
A lot of it is, especially by those willfully looking for a reason to
attack. Best is to ignore those who seem to be deliberately inciting bad
feeling - you don't need it in your life, and paying attention to it
uses more time and energy than it is worth.

Ginny
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