[at-l] Helpful Camping Tips

[Chuck <grifinIm@prodigy.net>]

>
> Helpful Camping Tips
> 
> When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will
> keep the campsites on either side vacant.
> 
> Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite =
> stump
> apart and eating all the ants.
> 
> Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking them over an
> open fire.
> 
> When smoking a fish, never inhale.
> 
> A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm.  A hot
> enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.
> 
> You'll never be awakened by the call of a loon if you have an unlisted
> number.
> 
> The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges.
> Steer clear of those named for landfills.
> 
> Acupuncture was invented by a camper who found a porcupine in his =
> sleeping
> bag.
> 
> While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy =
> Knife
> has remained largely unheralded.  Its single blade functions as a tiny
> canoe paddle.
> 
> Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable campers to stay =
> dry
> in a downpour.  Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have
> been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.
> 
> Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter.  Warning:  Remove lint
> from navel before applying the match.
> 
> You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the North
> side of your compass.
> 
> You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a
> plastic garbage bag with several geese.
> 
> The canoe paddle, a simple device used to propel a boat, should never be
> confused with a gnu paddle, a similar device used by Tibetan =
> veterinarians.
> 
> When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt.  It gives you something =
> to
> wipe your nose on.
> 
> You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running
> over it with your car.
> 
> Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping.  Shine a
> flashlight into one ear.  If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go
> into the woods alone.
> 
> A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
> 
> A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. =20
> A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey =
> puck.
> 
> You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican food, then =
> breathing
> or farting on a pile of dry sticks.
> 
> In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting
> small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your
> underwear.
> 
> The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent
> kindling.
> 
> A large carp can be used for a pillow.
> 
> Check the washing instructions before purchasing any apparel to be worn
> camping.  Buy only those that read "Beat on a rock in stream."
> 
> The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations.  The =
> sight
> of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.
> 
> It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain
> road behind a large motor home.
> 
> Effective January 1, 1999, you will actually have to enlist in the Swiss
> Army to get a Swiss Army Knife.
> 
> Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country.
> The tricky part is getting them on the bears.
> 
> A great deal of hostility can be released by using newspaper photos of
> politicians for toilet paper.
> 
> In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a
> snoring tent mate.
>
* From the Appalachian Trail Mailing List |  http://www.backcountry.net  *

==============================================================================