Re: [at-l] Gathering

[Owen <jrowen@ibm.net>]

kahley7 wrote:
> 
>I told Jim that I'd either bless him or curse him for planting the
>Gathering idea in my head.

I've been cursed before - ask All-the-Way (among others)   :-)

>I've been asking this question for half a year and it seems like people
just
>don't
>like to talk about it.  So again, I didn't get the info I need.  It could
be
>that this is
>the one subject hikers won't talk about.  Privies, rashes, stink are ok to
>discuss
>but nobody talks about the effects on a marriage,  Maybe married people
don't
>hike or if they do, they don't stay married.

Serious stuff - We don't talk about it because we can't.  We can
tell you about personal experience, we can tell you about our
friends and acquaintances, we can tell you trail stories and
rumors and "urban legends" -- but no one can legitimately give
you advice about YOUR relationship because no one knows all the
details and nuances that go into making up your particular
situation. This is one of the most frustrating and painful parts
of talking about thruhiking - that with respect to personal
relationships, there's NO advice that's worth the paper it's
written on.

I recently (in another forum) told someone that thruhiking is
ALWAYS an option - if you're willing to pay the price.  And that's
true.  BUT the price is sometimes more than people are willing to
pay.  Sometimes it's their job/career - or their savings - or
their home - or their marriage.  It's seldom that drastic,  but
it can be for some people.  Those who were at the Ruck last year
may have some idea of what it cost me. In my case, I made the
"hard" decisions - and they were the right ones for me and I'm
happier now. But I can't tell anyone else that the decisions
I made would be right for them.  I'd be a fool to say that -
and they'd be fools to believe me.  I was very, very lucky.

We're back to personal choices and personal responsibility for
the results of those choices.  I know that's not a popular concept
for a lot of people.  And it's NOT an easy one.  But it's the
only one that works if you're gonna be happy.  None of us are
EVER happy with the decisions that are made for us by others.

This isn't much of an answer so I'm gonna shut up.  I've done
far more damage here than I care to think about.  I wish I had
an easy answer (or ANY real answer) for you, Kahley, but I
don't know if there IS an answer.  I'm sorry. :-(

Walk softly,
Jim


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