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[at-l] Speed record to be attempted!
From Paris, France (Oct 1, 1997):
Noted runner Jasper "Jiffy" Jones announced today that he will
attempt to set the record for touring The Louvre museum in Paris.
He hopes to run through all of the halls of the famous building
in 22 hours, beating the old record of 25 hours and 13 minutes,
set by Vinny Testosterone in 1995. Jones will start his record-
setting attempt in the Sully Hall, then progess to the Denon
and Richilieu Halls. A support crew will be available in the
stairwells between each of the halls' three floors to provide
Gatorade, high-carbohydrate nutrients (including the new Super
Gorp mixture developed for astronauts by NASA), and oxygen.
Jones estimates that he will run by all of the 84,000 major art
objects on current display, giving him 1.0606 seconds at each
object to enjoy its beauty or historical significance. Jones
added, "I plan to pause at the Mona Lisa an added 1.4207 seconds,
because you can't go to The Louvre and not contemplate that very famous
painting, can ya?" In all, Jones will run through displays
on archeology, decorative arts, history, jewellry, furniture,
paintings and drawings, sculpture, and textiles, with an added
3 minutes devoted to the 28,743 paintings, drawings, and marble
sculptures to, as Jones put it, "allow me to take in the full
ambiance of these magnificent works!" Jones admits that his
attempt to set the record will be difficult ("All those regular
tourists in the way all the time, just standing around gawking
at canvases!"), and that some may find his attempt meaningless.
But Jones, ever the optimist, shrugs off the doubters, "Everybody
just has to appreciate art in their own way. My way is by running
past it as fast as I can. After all, everyone knows that you just
have to 'Tour your own tour!'" Jones is set to start his attempt
in April, at the height of the museum tourist season.
WF [Reprint of article posted on ATML October 1, 1997]
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