Forgot to add the at-l list when i replied. oops. (you can tell I don't post too often <g>) The Redhead
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- To: kahley7@ptd.net
- Subject: Re: [at-l] Re: spouse left behind
- From: DaRedhead@aol.com
- Date: Fri, 20 Feb 1998 08:39:56 EST
- Organization: AOL (http://www.aol.com)
Just a thought, and I don't know how apt the comparison is, but I was married to a navy man. 6 months gone was pretty standard. During Desert Storm/Shield he came home from a regular 6 month deployment, then 3 weeks later deployed for another due to the war. All of the issues you raise are very valid. A six month separation, where both people are in different worlds, can strain the best of relationships. And it is generally the one left at home who has the most adapting to do. Because they are the ones dealing with the bills, the kids (if any) the job (if any) and are stuck, so to speak, with all of the responsibility, resentment can build up. I imagine that with a thru hike as opposed to a job, the resentment might build up more, because they don't HAVE to go. So there your spouse is, out having the time of their life doing something they love . . . and there you are. Period. Back home. Stuck. I am not saying it can't be done. But remember that a separation under those circumstances is going to end up highlighting any insecurities or problems which already exist. If you have a strong marriage and a very supportive spouse, you can survive it, and maybe even enhance your relationship. I wouldn't attempt it otherwise. Sorry if this was too long - just had to put my 50 cents worth in <g> The Redhead
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