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[at-l] *** Urgent Memo ***
- Subject: [at-l] *** Urgent Memo ***
- From: TOKTAADN@aol.com
- Date: Fri, 13 Feb 1998 12:07:09 EST
For immediate distribution *** All Clearances=0A=0AUS Department of Soc=
ial Services=0AThe Center for Appalachian Preparedness=0ADivision of Back=
packing=0ABureau of Thru-hiking=0ASociety of humorless, whining bureaucr=
ats=0A=0ARe: Results of our secret =93Human Backpacking Study=94=0A=0AAt=
tention: All human backpackers scheduled for a 1998 Appalachian Thru-hik=
e=0A=0AAfter accumulating the data from our TOP SECRET 49 year thru-hike =
study, we=0Ahave reached the conclusion that this program can be more ef=
ficiently run by=0Areplacing you humans with trained monkeys.=0A=0ATheref=
ore please turn in your backpacking equipment at the nearest Department=
=0Aoffice. Regrettably, since this study was TOP SECRET, you will unde=
rgo the=0Apainless lethal injection referred to in Paragraph XVI, 7B(3)(i=
i) of the=0Acontract you signed to maintain the secrecy of the program. =
We are sorry for=0Athe slight inconvenience.=0A=0AThe unwarranted attacks=
on Felix, our head monkey trainer and chaiman of our=0Athink tank, wer=
e pivotal in this decision-making process.=0A=0A***=0APersonal memo to mo=
nkey trainer:=0A=0APlease see that each of the monkeys subscribes to the =
at-l. Let's hope that=0Afixes the whining problem. It will certainly ra=
ise the average IQ.=0A=0ADepartment Chief and PA Rock Sharpener=0A=0ASola=
r Bear=0A
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