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[at-l] End-All Virus
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WARNING WARNING WARNING
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If you receive an e-mail message with "End-All Virus" in the subject
line, DON'T OPEN IT.
If you do: End-All will re-write your entire hard drive.
Not only that, it will scramble any disks (and eggs) that are even close
to your computer. It will turn your CD ROM drive into a coffee cup
holder and you will be forces to hum into the phone to get your modem to
work.
It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice
cream will melt. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards
and bill you for the service. It will screw up the tracking on your VCR
(If you ever figured out how to program the darn thing) and it will use
subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will publish your unpublished phone number. It will mix Kool-aid into
your fishtank. It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when
company comes over. It will make you type "Tipos".
End-All will leave the toilet seat up.
It will hide your car keys when you are late for work.
End-All invites your mother-in-law over for a month. It replaces the
sugar in your coffee with sweetener, causes your cable to only tune in
home repair programs, and make people aware of all the things you are
personally guilty of actually doing.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It
is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
And it makes you read weird e-mails.
ALice
Highlander
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