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Is a thru hike selfish?  I think it all boils down to responsibility.  In
your case, you mentioned your career and your girlfriend.  In each case,
what might you gain from taking the time, and what would it cost?  Would
you be putting other people out of work if you took a leave of absence or
quit your job?  Or would knowing more about yourself help you decide
whether or not your current job is something you want to devote yourself to
for many years?  Would your girlfriend be damaged by having you gone for
six months, or would your potential marriage benefit from the greater self
knowledge you might bring back?  Your choice.

The same applies once you have kids.  On the other hand, I think that
children bring a big load of responsibility along with the hugs and
cuddles.  My kids didn't ask to be brought into this world, and they have
some very, very basic needs which I spend a lot of time filling.  I'm not
saying that a thru hike is always a bad idea if you have small kids, but I
think it takes a lot of consideration.  In my case, I decided that I stood
a decent chance of causing them real psychological damage by leaving for
six months, and that I couldn't be sure that the gain would be worth the
cost.  If I thought I was a total failure as a father, and that taking the
time to work things out would help that, I might have made a different
decision.

Why didn't I do a thru hike before I had children?  Mostly because I didn't
get into hiking at all until '95.  I have a pretty good intuition that I'd
be a better husband and parent today if I had gone on one.

Anyway, I don't think that you can love anyone more than you love yourself.
 Don't fall into the trap of thinking that anything you do for yourself is
inherently selfish.  Anything that helps you learn about, and love,
yourself will make you a better husband and parent.

Good luck.

-- Jim Mayer
 
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