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[at-l] autumn
Does anyone else view the coming of autumn with mixed feelings? I love the
beauty of the colors, the swirling falling gold and russet leaves, and the
feel of the cool crisp air. At the same time the dark mornings and early
evenings remind me that winter is coming. As a child of the desert, I
love snow but hate cold, and fear being unable to get out as much as I
would like. I know that hikes will be shorter, and backpack trips fewer and
farther between. The nights are long, and sun a wary playmate.
More, autumn reminds me that change is imminent - and I don't know what
kind. Things happen in the winter - new jobs, transitions, moves. What
will this winter bring?
The Gathering is part of those mixed feelings. I go and feel the
enthusiasm of those who just thruhiked and those who are about to leave,
and remember when I was both. I watch the slide shows of beautiful places
I will someday see, and I fly. I talk with those who have just returned,
and I know that soon that will be me, trying to explain the unexplainable.
At the same time, I am grounded by the knowledge that this coming year, I
will not be out there. I still must wait another 18 months before I am out
on the trail again. Mixed feelings. A friend told me that she had stopped
going to the Gathering because she knew that she would never be able to do
another long hike, and it hurt too much to be reminded of what she could
not have, but still yearned for. (At the age of 69, she has gone back to
thinking, well maybe . . . ) I understood how she felt, but feel compelled
to feed the hunger, if only vicariously.
At least October quiets Springer fever for a while, since I have neither
the experience nor the courage to attempt a winter thruhike. I can go back
into hibernation, with few regrets.
I'm rambling. Sorry.
Ginny
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