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[at-l] Slim's Gnat Repellant
Lehigh Gap was gnat-free so I didn't get to try "the stuff". Sorry, the
little varmits must have been off celebating the 4th. I detected the
faint scent of vanilla when ascending the cliff at Lehigh Gap when all of a
sudden a large black bear hunkered around the corner in a froggy-like
position. His eyes were fixed on a perfectly clear sky, I suppose looking
for a stray lighning bolt to come his way. I was not going to share the
small spot on the top with a vanilla-smelling bear that did not watch where
he was going so I did a quick jump over the top. Well that's where I made
my mistake. When I landed I caused a landslide of rocks which the poor
bear must've thought was old Thor himself launching bolts because he took
off the mountain heading right for the Lehigh river never missing a
froggy-like stride. My old Bogey, my dear hiking companion and partner in
life, stood there motionless as the huge vanilla-smelling bear bounded
right toward him. "Where can I go, what will I do?", he thought while
standing on the narrow precipice that two could not share. Just then he
remembered the honey and cinnamon in his daypack. But could he throw them
with an inhibiting weepy blister on the thumb of his left hand? He is left
handed, you know. He pulled out the jars and sure enough the blister made
him lose his grip. The seconds were narrowing to just a flash. His life
was next to lost. I watched in amazement as he, with his right hand, broke
open the jars and smeared the honey and cinnamon all over a large rock in a
split second. The bear stopped in his tracks as if a lightning bolt had
pinned him there, his nose picking up the pungent odor. Then he put his
big black nose into the air and with a big whiff licked the weepy blister
dry. "Yummy!", Bogey said as he watched the big tongue slurp up the
blister juice, "maybe that's the cure for blisters!". And now Bogey has
the healing power of bear saliva in his blood. "Maybe it will repel
gnats", he said as the Yummi bear ambled away.
Moral: Somewhere up on Lehigh Gap you may see or smell honey and cinnamon.
You may even feel the hair stand up on your neck but just remember; it
could be just a froggy vanilla-smelling yummi bear around the corner or an
honest to goodness lighning bolt out of the blue. Just hit the ground,
guys!
And I promise I will never make up another story agin. Yea, right!
Slimster (I feel so silly today, forgive me)
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