[at-l] A.T.C. ANNOUNCES NEW TERMINOLOGY

[slackpacker@juno.com (Richard K Mann)]

> W <	This email uses excessive	  > W <
> A  <	amounts of UPPER-CASE	  > A  <
> R  <	letters and many little dots...	  > R  <
> N  <	If you are PREGNANT or	  > N  <
>  I  <	have HEART DISEASE or	  >  I  <
> N  <	have not had your COFFEE,	  > N  <
> G  <	then press DELETE know...	  > G  <

>>>  A.T.C. ANNOUNCES NEW TERMINOLOGY  <<<

The A.T.C announced today that EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, the terms
"THRU-HIKER" and "HIKE YOUR OWN HIKE" are obsolete.  Through exhaustive
study reviewing nearly 50 years of hiking records, the A.T.C has
determined that no one has hiked a pure hike.  An explanation of the new
terms follow:

Any hiker accepting a SLACKPACK, but still using a DAY PACK, will be
doing a THRU-WALK, or if carrying a WATER BOTTLE only, a THRU-STROLL... 
Any hiker having BAD KNEES will be doing a THRU-LIMP, or if using two
LEKI poles, a THRU-SLALOM...  Any hiker with a DOG will be doing a
THRU-MUSH...  Any hiker going from ME>GA will be doing a THRU-FLOP... 
CURIOUS GEORGE is doing a THRU-SPRINT, GYPSY is doing a THRU-HURT,
POOMBAH is doing a FRIGGIN-THRU, and TUMBLEWEED is doing a
THRU-NOVELETTE...  Anyone hiking the trail in a manner that is
SPIRITUALLY DEMORALIZING TO THE ORIGINAL INTENT OF THE APPALACHIAN TRAIL
is doing a THRU-666...  WARD LEONARD was doing a THRU-PSYCHO...  WARREN
DOYLE has done a THRU-JOG, THRU-ROLL, a number of THRU-WALKs and
THRU-STROLLs, and at least one THRU-CRY...  WINGFOOT next year will be
doing a DEJA-THRU...  BILL IRWIN did a THRU-STUMBLE...  GRANDMA
GATEWOOD's three hikes were THRU-MOOCHes...  FELIX would do a
THRU-CHUCKLE...  BAMAMAN would do a THRU-SPOOF...  PHIL ROMANS will be
doing a THRU-TO-BE-CONTINUED...  Any hiker eating MASS QUANTITIES of food
will be doing a THRU-GORGE, or if hiking with an EATING DISORDER, a
THRU-PUKE...  If you are hiking NAKED, you are doing a THRU-MOON... 
Anyone confused or frightened by many, many UPPER-CASE letters or lots of
little dots would not get past their  front door, let alone hike...  If
you are hiking with 2 DOGS, BEANS and a ROPE, you need counseling...

Rick Mann, aka Pittsburgh
Host of the SLACKPACK TOUR
A THRU-HIKE of the Appalachian Trail
slackpacker@juno.com
800-803-2767
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