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[at-l] Phobias, The Trail and You

The following list has been compiled from actual case histories, interviews
and historic data from the archives of the Bamaman:

1. Dickmorrisaphobia
	Fear that your friendly hiking boot salesperson is holding on to your foot
just a little bit too long.

2. Zapaphobia
	Fear that you're gonna get struck by lightning whenever you hear thunder
in the distance.  Symptoms include asking your hiking buddy if your hair
looks funny and uncontrollable thoughts of the old Edmund Scientific
Catalog you used to get when you were a kid.

3. Helterskeltergarciaphobia
	The fear that suddenly comes over you when you don't know if the new guy
at the shelter looks alot like Jerry Garcia or Charles Manson.

4. Bunsenburnerphobia
	The fear that first began in Mr. Finklestein's 5th period chemistry class
and continues today as you constantly fear that your backpacking stove
might blow up at any minute.

And closely related:

5. Siggbottleaphobia
	Type A  The fear that you didn't screw the top on tight enough or that you
overtightened it and fuel has leaked out all over your sleeping bag.
	Type B  The fear that the bottle will explode if it gets too warm inside
your pack.

6. Mummybagaphobia
	Fear that your double zipper will become permanently stuck and that you
will be forced to hop down the Falling Waters Trail in your sleeping bag
with only your eyes and nose visible.

7. Reptilazooaphobia
	Fear that snakes and especially large Black snakes are attracted to the
warmth of you Blue Kazoo sleepin bag.  Symptoms include shaking your bag
several times before crawling in at night or saying to your hiking buddy, "
Does my bag look a little lumpy to you tonight?"

8. Nickgrinstafaphobia
	Fear that your significant other will run away with the next door neighbor
while you're out hiking the trail and you'll be left to live alone and die
alone.

9. Elmersinnaphobia
	Fear that you will put your foot in your mouth at dinner and say "I can't
wait to get that Big Boy Burger tomorrow night!"

10.  Bamamanaphobia
	Fear that the next post you read may be from The Bamaman

And finally #1 in my addiction, The Trail and You series:

1. Spencefieldalism
	Uncontrollable urge to climb on top of Shelter Roofs and attempt to slide off.
David S. Severance
sevy@kezarlaw.com
visit the Ossipee Mountain News Hiking Page at:
http://www.conknet.com/~d_severance

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