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Re: [at-l] a question for those who quit

owen wrote:
<snip> 
> My question is addressed to those who quit the trail, for whatever reason -
> do you wish you were back there?  Would you do it again? Will you do it
> again? Are you glad you tried - or sorry?  What long term effects has it had
> on you?
> 
> We hear a lot from those who finished about what it felt like to climb
> Katahdin, but what happens if you can't? 
<snip>
>  However, personnally and individually, how did it affect you
> - both in the doing and in the ending?
> 
> I would really like to know.  Ginny


I began a thru-hike in May, 1988, two weeks after I got out of the
Navy.  The sum total of what I knew about the A.T. came from the Feb.
1987 National Geographic article and one weeks exposure to the Data
Book, Guidebooks, and Philosopher's Guide.  Everything else I knew about
backpacking came from reading Colin Fletcher and a 1974 trip to
Philmont.  I was ignorant, but well-enough prepared to survive the first
couple weeks.  By the time I hit Fontana Dam I was a comfortable citizen
of the trail community.  I knew that I would make it all the way to
Katahdin.

Of course, even the best laid plans go awry.  I took a bad step off a
rock on Sinking Creek Mtn in VA and severely sprained my ankle.  I
hobbled down the mountain to Niday Shelter, where I laid over for a day
contemplating my black and blue foot.  I was already considering a
flip-flop, since I had a fairly late start and hadn't been making many
big mileage days.  This sealed the deal.  I would recuperate at my
sister's house in Boston for a while, then have her take me to Baxter
State Park where I would become a Southbounder.

Thus, phase two of my hike began in early August.  While resting my foot
I had longed to return to the trail, but once I was back the experience
had changed.  Traveling south, I missed the sense of community that is a
big part of a northbound thru-hike.  I was encountering the first wave
of northbound hikers as we crossed the hundred-mile wilderness, but only
for a brief chat if we met during the day.  In the shelters, hikers
approaching the end of their journey seemed more withdrawn and
contemplative, or were nestled within their own, familiar trail
families.  For me, the shared outlook that make instantaneous
connections possible was no longer there.

I began my hike, like so many others, at a transitional point in my
life.  I thought the hike would allow me time to figure out a new course
to follow.  At the Widow's Walk in Stratton, I decided that the pull of
that new course was stronger than the pull of the trail.  I *wanted* to
hike the whole A.T., but at that time I didn't have a BURNING DESIRE to
hike the whole A.T.    

The following winter I had my first bout with Springer Fever, and I
haven't recovered since.  I would guess that the main difference between
my thru-hiking memories and the memories of those who finished is in the
sense of closure.  I still have a feeling that there is unfinished
business for me to take care of.  I have planned (as an exercise)
several thru-hikes in subsequent years.  In '94 I even followed my
itinerary by reading the guidebook entries that I would have encountered
each day.  If the opportunity ever presents itself, I would jump at the
chance to return to the trail.

I am very glad a tried a thru-hike.  I have indelible memories that I
can savor whenever I wish: racing a thunderstorm across Albert Mtn.,
drinking too much beer and becoming maudlin at Apple House Shelter, The
Place in Damascus, my first 20+ mile day through Grayson Highlands,
Katahdin, sunset at Rainbow Lake, Shaw's in Monson, a *cold* bath at
Little Bigelow lean-to, etc.  Still, with the perspective of 20-20
hindsight, I deeply regret not finishing the trail when I had the time,
the resources, and the lack of entanglements.

As for the long term effects of my A.T. experience--on the trail I
learned to stop worrying about things I could not control, and to be
thankful for the small things that frequently escape notice in the "Real
World."  The best lesson I learned from not finishing is to take full
advantage of opportunities when they arise--the vagaries of fate may not
give you another chance. 

John Griffith (at-l lurker)
Leawood, KS

jbgriff@oasiskc.net

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