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[at-l] Living Like Kings in Springer Mountain Shelter
- Subject: [at-l] Living Like Kings in Springer Mountain Shelter
- From: Lynn Setzer <firstname.lastname@example.org>
- Date: Fri, 10 Jan 1997 17:52:12 -0500
It's not only the hikers who are getting ready . . . . .
Overheard at Springer Mountain Shelter
Little Feet (voice of Jack Nicholson): "Hey, WhiskaBoy, see how the days
are getting longer?"
WhiskaBoy (voice of Slim Pickens): "Yeah, I see it."
LF: "And have you seen how damp and gray it is?"
WB: "Yeah, I seen that too."
LF: "And have you been watching Gnaaawcho sharpen his teeth on that old
emery board someone left behind?"
WB: "Yeah. So what?"
LF: "Don't you know what that means?"
WB: "Little Feet, you're making me tied. Whyn't you just cut to the chase
and tell me what you want me to know?"
LF: "Awright, awright, then. It's almost time!!"
WB: "Time for what, for cryin' out loud?"
LF: "When they come!!!"
WB: "When WHO comes?"
LF: "Them! You know, those people with the packs and the tents and the
boots and the funny little stoves! It's almost time for them to start
WB: "Oh yeah!! That's right!! It won't be long before they get here.
Ooooooooh I can hardly wait! But what's that got to do with Gnaaawcho and
his ratty old emery board?"
LF: "Doncha remember? Last year, he almost got through that pack and he
would have, but it was just a little tougher than he thought. Well, this
year he's gonna be ready. Ain't no namby-pamby Dana Teraplane gonna slow
WB: "Ah, I get it. And is that why Running Girl has been doing aerobics on
the tuna cans? Is she been training to raid food sacks again?"
LF: "Damn straight. Last year, she said, it was a cinch to jump from one
food bag to another. So this year she hopes to break her nightly record for
the Most Jumps in a Single Night. It's a personal best thing for her."
WB: "Well, how much longer do you think before they start showing up?"
LF: "The way I got this thing figured, they're due to start arriving in 3-4
weeks. But they won't really be here in the hoards until mid-March."
WB: "When is mid-March?"
LF: "Do I have to tell you everything? Mid-March is in about , oh, 8 weeks."
WB: "So in eight weeks, then, we'll be living like kings? Is that right?
Living like kings in Springer Mountain shelter?"
LF: "WhiskaBoy, in eight weeks the games will begin. Mouse, we're talking
bags to inspect, boots to sniff, socks to chew, food bags . . . . . . . um,
um, UM. I can hardly wait. I haven't had any good gorp in sooooo long.
Banana chips. You can just never tell what they'll bring along. And you
talk about fun! Have you ever crawled over a hiker and had him or her swat
you? Kowabunga! What a ride! It's a Double E ticket!!!"
WB: "Little Feet, you wouldn't lie to me about htis, would you? You
wouldn't say they're coming when they're not coming, would you?"
LF: "Have I ever lied to you before?"
WB: "Well, now that you mention it, there was this time when you . . ."
LF: "I mean other than that. Would I lie to you about the gravy train
that's coming to our doorstep? Just mark my words. They'll be here. Just
you wait and see. They'll be here."
WB: "Little Feet, you've made my day!"
LF: "Just remember, WhiskaBoy: living like kings at Springer Mountain
WB: "And the best part is that they're still smell good when they get here!"
LF: "Yeah. I got a brother -in-law to a second cousin twice removed living
in Kirkridge shelter, up in Pennsylvania. He says that when they reach the
shelter he works, the hikers smell altogether different. You know, kinda
like they haven't bathed often enough."
LF: "Would I lie to you?"
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