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[at-l] Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

-- [ From: Kurtis Kirsch * EMC.Ver #2.3 ] --

I think I'm going insane!  I'm actually considering to try thru hiking the
the AT again this year.  Last year, I left Amicalola on Feb. 29, and I
ended my hike in Damascus May 12.  I stuck around for Trail Daze but my
thru hike was over.  It didn't really hit me until I was on the bus heading
back north.  I was gonna type " . . . . heading back home", but somehow
that just doesn't seem to ring true.  So, why didn't I complete my thru
hike?  My standard answer is that my knee gave up on me, just before Albert,
and I had to spend more money than I ever thought I would on recuperating. 
I did run out of money, however, I could have made it to Harper's Ferry,
with a little help from my friends, and then try to extort some money from
my family, to get me the rest of the way.  This is definately Monday
morning quarterbacking!

So, if my knee and money are my standard answer, what is, in fact the
TRUTH?  Fear.  Ugly word isn't it, but I really was afraid.  I've always
have found it hard to ask for help, because I hate to feel obligated. 
Pride.  So, there's the truth: fear and pride.

I once wrote:  
The trail is a river, at any given time. You can find anything you desire,
if you are willing to look. The trail giveth, and can  just as readily
taketh away, Those who can adapt to trail living are those who have the
fun. Those who try to adapt the trail to their lives are living in a fools
paradise. I live for the next sunrise, the next horizon, the next unknown,
but when the fun stops, (I hope it never does) so do I. I would like to
live up to those words.  I want to get back on the trail this year, not to
make it to Katahdin, (although that would be really cool) but to face up to
my fear and pride, and to enjoy what life on the trail has to offer.

I am insane!  

		have fun,


PS.  Are there any sponsers out there!  ; )       
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