[at-l] tolerance

[carol1944 at brmemc.net (Carol Donaldson)]

If the individual quirks are not dangerous to you, others, or that particular person, tolerate away.  

See, this is where the "tolerance guilt trip" that some try to place on others for "not being tolerant" brings only false guilt and real grief (usually later, not always).  Do not accept false guilt if you find yourself intolerant of a person's behavior AND if your instincts tell you that you don't want to be around that person.  Trust your instincts.  Everywhere, not just on the Trail.  I used to have friends who I felt were "way out there" in some of their behaviors and beliefs.   I tolerated their actions and behaviors for as long as I could justify, overlooking the dissimilarities and focusing on the similarities.  It got to be where we only had one or two things to talk about and even then, I could not justify remaining close friends and using my time, emotions and energy (and money) in this friendship/relationship.  In other words, it was costing me too much self-esteem and financially to continue in the relationship of friendship with these persons.  So, even though some feelings were hurt on the other side and no true explanation was given on my side, these friends are more in the category of "acquaintances" -- people to whom I will be kind, but not close friends to whom I would give the shirt off my back.

Hiking example:
A hiker who decides to bring a loaded gun into a shelter will not be tolerated, no matter what, as far as I'm concerned.  She can bring in a cell phone and I might ask her to use it away from the presence of others OR might remind her that "hiker etiquette" is to ask others if they're offended by use of a cell phone.  After all, her mother and father may be like mine and demand a daily phone call if she's ever to see any inheritance.

Situation yesterday while walking the dogs.  Young child runs up to Casey (the tale wagging friendly one) while I'm trying to haul in Crockett (the growling protective one) and I reminded the child to ALWAYS ASK before walking up to a strange animal because you never know whether the animal will be friendly, like Casey or will charge and might bite, like Crockett.  If in doubt on the Trail or mostly anywhere else - ASK first and respect others even if the answer is not the one you wanted.

Coosa 
----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Bror8588@aol.com 
  Tolerance of other's quirks and individuality even if it differs from one's own preferences or habits is the norm.  The boorish behavior of others that causes discomfort or degradation of the (A) Trail is not to be tolerated.  If one wants to "do their thing" there is room enough to do whatever and should not be imposed on those gathered at Shelters or campsites along the trail.  Go away from the crowded places and do it but even then do not leave a mess that others may have to clean up later.

  Skylander.