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[at-l] New Medicines Might Help


Something else for  your med'sin cabinet.

Subject: New Drugs for  Women 
New  Drugs for Women 

D  A M N I T O L  
Take  2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.  

ST.  M O M M A'S W O R T  
Plant  extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers 
unconscious for  up to two days. 

E  M P T Y N E S T R O G E N 
Suppository  that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding 
you of how awful they  were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they 
moved out.  

P  E P T O B I M B O 
Liquid  silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an 
evening out  increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents 

D  U M B E R O L 
When  taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in 
enjoyment of  country music and pickup trucks. 

F  L I P I T O R  
Increases  life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge 
to flip off  other drivers. 

M  E N I C I L L I N 
Potent  anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal 
lines as,  "You make me want to be a better person ..Can we get naked now?.  

Injectable  stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, 
and credit limit  of spending spree. 

J  A C K A S S P I R I N 
Relieves  headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, 
anniversary, phone  number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A  N T I-T A L K S I D E N T 
A  spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share 
their  life stories with total strangers in elevators. 

N  A G A M E N T  
When  administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation 
level as  nagging him