[at-l] the challenges of our faith, morality and life

[jestbill at yahoo.com (william fitzpatrick)]

"I think if we are honest, much of the real 
emotion comes from the stark reality that any one of us could be Terri 
Schiavo . . . "

Well, you see....not many of us really could be Terri Schiavo after all.
If I were to have that heart attack, it would quickly become clear that there
is no money to keep me alive: I likely would never get so far as to have a
feeding tube.

If I got a feeding tube and a place in a hospice, my wife would not have the
money or get control of the money so that it would be her decision: she might
have final say, but others would suggest that I'd had all my time.

If someone decided to pull my feeding tube, my parents are dead.  They would
not go all the way to the Supreme Court to try to save me--I'd be dead.

If my parents were not already dead, they would not have the money to mount a
defense that would reach the Supreme Court. I would be dead.

My point in all this is to say that these supposedly ethical and moral
questions are mostly made up.  They only apply in this one case among
reasonably wealthy people.  The rest of us can just go to hell.

Having watched people die who needed all the narcotics they could get to kill
the pain they were in, I have no sympathy for people who want to prolong life
no matter the cost. May their lives be similarly prolonged.

People are starving in Sudan.  We don't care because our sophisticated sense of
morality and ethics is wrestling with the Sciavo case.

--- Clark Wright <icw@esisnet.com> wrote:

> Coosa - I don't know you, but yet i feel I kinda do from this great 
> list, and from the common bond we all have in the form of that great 
> path known as the AT . . . I guess what I would like to do here is ask 
> you to walk a bit in my shoes . . . I'm 47, been blessed with great 
> physical health, a wonderful family and friends, but there is a darker 
> side, too . . . I struggle with depression at times, but more to the 
> point, I struggled for three long years, as did my Mom and the rest of 
> the family, as we watch my Dad waste away with cancer . . . fortunately, 
> Dad had executed a living will, and had talked a lot to Mom about what 
> he wanted, and had a strong religious faith that mom shared intimately 
> with him . . . but I am here to tell you that all of that does not mean 
> shit when you are the one sitting at his bedside, at three in the 
> morning, staring at a 120 pound shell of a former 6'4" 200 pound man 
> that you looked up to as "Dad" - who you used to play hoops with, run 
> with and not too many years before still get beat in tennis by . . . all 
> of that means shit when your Dad jerks upright, moans in pain and begs 
> you to take him out of those tubes, those demeaning gowns, those sterile 
> hospital rooms and let him go home to die - to die like he would want to 
> die . . . you see, even with a living will, and even with a loving wife, 
> and even with a loving family, and even with strong faith, and even 
> though his doctor was his own personal friend and medical practice 
> partner, a great and gentle man in his own right - even with all that, 
> it sucks to have to try and figure out, day-by-day, how much pain 
> medicine to give, how much that medication will dehydrate and eventually 
> make him lose his appetite and help to end his life, versus doing other 
> things that can prolong, versus shorten life . . . in short, it SUCKS to 
> HAVE to play God at the end game with someone you love . . . yeah, let 
> me say it again, it SUCKS . . .
> 
> As a lawyer, the son of a doctor, and the not-so-well-resolved carrier 
> of my overloaded backpack of sorrow from helping my Dad struggle and 
> finally die, I think I bring a lot more to the table than most - not all 
> mind you, but most - of the so-called pundits, and even all those who 
> have their strong beliefs about life, and about faith, and about trying 
> to die in a way that best celebrates life . . . what kills me to see is 
> the great divides this current case seems to be causing, or at least 
> highlighting, and how little any of us truly can know about the FACTS . 
> . . forget the facts of Terri's case for a minute, and take a step back 
> to explore where the strong emotions are really coming from . . .  you 
> wanna know what I think?  I think if we are honest, much of the real 
> emotion comes from the stark reality that any one of us could be Terri 
> Schiavo . . . and if we truly, honestly set all our baggage aside for a 
> minute, isn't the real lesson of this case, and all the coverage, that 
> we all need to sit down with our loved ones and TALK about our feelings 
> - feelings about death, about our faith, and about what we want at the 
> end . . . and one thing I will say about that is something you will not 
> hear many others talk about - and that is the stark fact that regardless 
> of how terrible the illness is, most of us fight HARD to live, right up 
> to the very end.  No matter how much pain my Dad's long illness caused 
> the rest of us, and even though he had a living will, I could tell that 
> for a long time Dad wanted to fight, and Lord he was a helluva fighter . 
> . . that is the hard part, balancing each day's little choices - about 
> meds, about pain, about whether to stay in the hospital or go home, 
> about hospice (God bless hospice people everywhere), and about trying to 
> make sure that all the various different people who run in and out of a 
> patient's life don't screw up because of their harried, narrow, 
> specialist-minded medical perspectives . . . and it is damn hard to try 
> anc come to your own terms, while also having to come to terms with 
> where you think your loved one is in their own mind on their journey to 
> the end of this life . . .
> 
> I cannot tell you what is right for Terri, her husband, or her parents, 
> but I can tell you from personal experience that the horrible fighting 
> between the various factions that at least loved her at various times 
> will permanently scar them all much more than they will ever know, for 
> my scars run deep 15 years later and we did everything "right," and had 
> everything possible going for us . . . As an attorney, I can also say 
> that what Congress did was reprehensible - well-intentioned by some, 
> political opportunism at its worst by others, and - perhaps worst of all 
> - political cowardice of the highest order by still others . . . If the 
> law is to mean anything, it must mean respect for the process, and 
> respect for the separation of powers inherent in our system of government.
> 
> I remain a mess about my Dad's death, and about how completely helpless 
> I felt even with a united loving family, a living will, and an 
> incredibly good and caring medical team taking care of Dad . . . God 
> help those who have to face these types of decisions with fractured 
> families, no living will, and faceless care providers - my heart goes 
> out to them . . . to you, personally, I would simply say that there are 
> many different pairs of shoes to walk in and empathize with in this 
> case, and in the many others that ordinary human beings struggle with 
> every single day . . . do not judge anyone here too harshly, and do not 
> take up their burdens unnecessarily, for there is burden enough to be 
> taken up in our own lives . . . more importantly, always - and I mean 
> always - keep walking through the valley of the dark thoughts and 
> moments until you climb back up the other side into the sunshine once 
> again!  :)  One thing that always makes me smile is the fact that I 
> laugh a lot like my Dad did, and I darn sure know that he wants me to 
> keep walking through my unresolved grief into greater and greater 
> moments of sunshine and light - 'til we meet again.
> 
> I know this is a hornet's nest, but I think I will copy the list with 
> what I started out with as a personal reply, for maybe in doing so I can 
> help myself work through these issues, which are a real part of why I 
> love to hike . . . hiking is cathartic and freeing for me, and reminds 
> me that there is always something else along the journey to explore, get 
> excited about, and work through . . . it's trite, but life is indeed a 
> journey, and I hope we all will try to put strong initial feelings aside 
> re the Schiavo case and take something more thoughtful and deeper from 
> it into our own thinking and our own lives . . .
> 
> Thru-Thinker
> [Clark]
> 
> 
> 
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