[at-l] Perception/Quote

[jbullar1 at twcny.rr.com (Jim Bullard)]

At 12:07 PM 1/12/2005 -0500, Rcalkins@worldbank.org wrote:
>I'm convinced there are really two "me's":  there's the real me --
>cheerful, enthusiastic, optimistic, kind, compassionate, and caring,  and then
>there's the negative me --  "that other guy" as
>She-who-knows-me-best-but-still-loves-me refers to him.
>
>       I don't mean the somewhat grumpy me that arrives home from work at 
> the end
>of a long day with a low blood sugar count.  "Feed the bear time" she 
>calls it.
>That's easy to deal with:  she just spreads a few grubs and blueberries on the
>counter and herds the kids to a safer environment until the coast is clear.
>
>       I mean the guy who worries and frets about things -- mostly things that
>are never going to happen, but talk about an imagination!  He can make the 
>worst
>case scenario so real that he can almost live there.  Problem is, no one else
>seems to want to go there with him.  And apparently it's no fun going 
>alone, so
>he tries his best but she's too smart to bite, so he has to go alone.  To
>justify his behavior, at least to himself -- he tends to blame external things
>for setting him off, demanding order when there is only chaos to be had -- no
>one's fault, it's just like that.  And wanting things to be on time, when 
>others
>don't run on clocks, and that's not really their fault either.  He REALLY 
>wants
>that light bulb changed, but the answer is: "let's go ride our bikes".  That
>guy.   I don't like him either.
>
>       I'm was hoping to leave him home when I depart for Springer, but I know
>him too well.  He'll just follow me down the trail, tagging along like I did
>with my older brother when he went to do fun things.  So my plan is to 
>brainwash
>the SOB.  To try to get him to see that those kinds of things aren't really
>important.  To get him to stop and think long enough to see that it really 
>is a
>choice.  Choosing not to worry.  Choosing not to fret.  I know it won't be 
>easy.
>Not on the trail and not when I get back.  But I've been making progress
>recently, so I'm optimistic.  And I'm absolutely convinced that the picture I
>hold in my mind about myself and how I'm going to behave on the trail will 
>help.
>I want to be the guy that all the other pilgrims are happy to see show up 
>at the
>shelter at night, because he brings spark and humor and good cheer to the
>campfire.  The one the other hikers will miss as they quickly outdistance him.
>That one.  I'm determined to give it my best shot.  Doggedly so.
>
>L

I know that guy. :D
May you hike faster (or slower) than he does.